winter’s aubade

It is cold, outside,

in the early morning

in the early morning

when it is still,

and dark, and quiet,

I leave the shelter

of my warm bed

and make my way

down the stairs

and out the door

it is quiet, outside,

in the early morning

I stand there,

in the early morning,

in the dark stillness of

the lingering nightly chill

it is dark, outside,

in the early morning

I stand there,

in the dark

in the quiet

in the cold

slowly,

gently,

reverently,

I let my neck

and shoulders relax,

and allow my head

to tip backwards

there, in that moment and

that space, hung suspended between

the earth and sky—

the morning and the night—

the sun, moon, and stars—

time with you and time without you—

in those early morning moments

of still and dark

and quiet and cold,

I open my mouth

and slowly, longingly, exhale

as I watch my breath

rise and steam away from me

hanging thick and clouded around my head,

I pretend that I am a dragon

for if I am a dragon, then

inside of me there is always

a light; there is always

a roar; there is always

the heat and spark of flame

nothing in me, then,

if I am a dragon, nothing

is still or dark

or quiet or cold

and if I am,

in truth or fantasy,

a dragon, then each

billowing breath of mine—

in this early morning stillness

in this early morning darkness

in this early morning silence

in this early morning cold—

each billowing breath

becomes an offering

a way to warm the world

by some small degrees

to make sure that you,

my love, will not freeze

if I can take the fire

that flickers in my

dragon’s heart and exhale

it in long, slow, breaths,

then I will spend each and every

early morning standing, barefoot,

in the still and the dark

and the quiet and the cold

it does not matter

that my feet are bare

upon the sidewalk, or

that my fingertips are blue

I am a dragon,

after all—

even if only pretending

and only for a moment—

there is no danger to me

that I cannot chase away

with a fiery heart, and

maybe, just, perhaps—

perhaps, somewhere, you are

pretending to be a dragon, too