Are you tired yet? Tired of trying to up everyone up, looking good to the people who don't care about you, the stares people give you when you just aren't enough to sastisfy them? No? ....I thought so. Your belief in yourself blinds you from the harsh reality that down to the core, your this expendable thing, meant for nothing but a trail of emotions that you dealt to yourself. You can be angry at the people who threaten your friendships, taking every opportunity you chose not to take, making those connections that you lost because self preservation and maybe a little bit of self pity clouded your wants that were highly possible. You've forgotten who you are throughout the process of trying to make yourself likeable. Why can't you be yourself? Why can't you be enough? You try too hard and love too much. Well sorry to tell you but love has run out. Think back to when you this little kid, this perfect little being with empathy and all. Seems like a distant memory doesn't it? Though what you want seems impossible through the walls you punch and the words you scream into your pillow, the tears that roll down your cheeks as you fall asleep in what seems a foreign place. You yearn for the childhood to come back, when you were friends with everyone and lunch was $4.50. Faith is one thing that has stuck with you since you started believing. The words of 3,500 years ago reverb in your soul. An unknown perspective coming into light and showering you with what you could call grace, a tender whisper that you will be okay. But the truth is, you don't want to be. You are only okay when the people in your life are doing good. Their happiness is the true swan song to your joy. But you do put these whispers in a jar, kepping them when you feel alone. But even these whispers eventually turn into bitter shouts. I wouldn't say to keep acting as you are, petty, loathing, aggressive. These do you no good. There is people who are there, willing to be with you. You just choose to ignore the ones who put in the effort. But for Gods' sake, stop limiting yourself. These inhibitions that you carry, they are weights on your mind, haunting every waking step. Will you let these weaknessess define you, or will you face your pride and humble yourself in the eyes of the world? That choice is totally up to you, but when you choose, that damn second you choose which path you take, stick to it. Leave it all behind. You are no longer that. You are anew, alive with no definition.