Why I am Dying.

Ells, My broken forever boy, My Howl, Magical Yakuza Being.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked shaking feeling how with each nod you gave

My heart broke into every little piece that was yours.

Your reason wasn't because you ran out of love for me.

It wasn't becuase you cheated on me.

It was because you feel like you can't give me forever.

But you are my forever.

you said I would find someone who would love me like I love them someone who could give a forever.

You said I would find someone to have a big white walled appartment with big windows with and have many dogs.

But you don't know that

Your two eyes are the big windows in the apartment.

Your arms are those white walls.

I know this could be a goodbye forever. I can hope not. I can pray that it's not.

You said maybe some day we could try again. If you felt like you could give me forever.

Oh babe, you have given me forever.

I will never not love you.

I will love you forever.

I will miss you forever.

I don't want to let what we built be lost in the wind.

What we had will be inbetween us and will be only ours. forever.

I love you with my soul and heart. That will never change I can promise you that.

None the less I feel like I am dying.

My body shakes from shock. I wake up in sweat and often at night.

I have never wanted to scream and run from my own body till now.

I have lost half of my heart and soul. My body doesn't know what to do.

Thats why I am dying. and I am dying without you.