talking to myself on a bad night

"you're crying. why are you crying?"

"i'm not crying."

"you're about to."

"... why was he like that?"

"like what?"

"why did he attack me on the phone like that? why did he start judging me right off the bat without even trying to understand me first?"

"... i don’t know..."

"and then why did he say he was gonna try it later tonight? tt was like he was mocking me."

"i don’t know."

"i’m hurt."

"i know."

"really, why?"

"i really don’t know."

"i would try to explain to him. if he asked differently, if he acted like, or at least pretended, to care. but he didn’t. he had me call him up so he could judge me."

"i’m sorry. that wasn’t fair."

"HELL NO IT WASN’T FAIR."

"maybe he gets that...?"

"doubtful."

"... you okay?"

*sigh* "i’m fine."

"are you?"

"i’m fine, ok? i’m fine, great, good, fantastic, extraordinary."

"more like sad, hurt, and pissed."

"yep."

"... what do you want to do now?"

"go to bed."

"what do you want to do now concerning him?"

"call him back. or not talk to him for a few days. either or. it doesn’t matter."