Another Short Story-Giving up.
Relentless.
‘Have I seen you somewhere before?’, a very nice and beautiful woman asked me. Her face the color of almonds, her smooth black hair slicked perfectly down which rolled over her developed body, her black eyes piercing through my body…. but her hand was linked to that of another’s.
Why did it end this way?
‘Uhmm, I don’t believe so’, I forced my self to say. My hand clenched underneath my heavy cloak which had been smouldered by the smell of smoke.
How could you forget me?
‘Oh, well my bad! Have a good day!’ she awkwardly threw a smile as she carried her mans with her---heading to the lit Christmas tree where every family and couple were gathering together at.
I kept walking with my head down, on this frigid winter night.
***
Part One-Children.
Me and my best friend were called Beauty and the Beast. We would walk around the neighbourhood hand-in-hand, we would gallop into stranger’s lawns, we would swim, we would do everything together.
‘So, You are saying I won’t jump of this bridge?’ I asked, overconfident in my abilities as a man.
‘HA! I know for a fact that you won’t even survive the impact’, my friend said as she laughed, her strghait black hair bouncing with each immature snarl.
I took this opportunity to climb on the edge of the bridge, the distance from here towards the pond was at least 2 stories. As pushed myself to my feet a cold breeze made itself welcomed, almost throwing me of balanced.
‘H-Hey! I was joking you don’t need to jump’, she came towards the edge and held on to my thin brown shorts that were a size to small. For some reason at this moment I had what might be the best idea in the world.
Beauty and the beast were a couple, right? So why aren’t we?
‘Serena, lets make a deal’. I said above her, she looked up with those black eyes of hers. Cute.
‘What are you talking about! Just get down before the next breeze kills you!’
‘Lets say I survive this jump, I want something in compensation’.
Compensation. Know that’s a bug boy word.
‘W-Wait I ain’t even forcing you to jump! Why do I have to pay something in return?’
‘I want’, I turned around facing the small pond and with the last burst of adolescent courage I jumped.
‘A KISS!’
Next thing I knew I was in the hospital with heart monitor stickers connected to my body. With blurry eyes I scanned the white room to only see basic hospital stuff---except for the cute girl sleeping on the small green couch in the corner of the room.
‘Serena?’ She didn’t respond.
Hmmm. I did what my brain told my body NOT to do---I disconnected the stickers and like a drunk old and lonely man I stumbled her way barely landing on the couch. I sat down silently only adoring her. Just her.
Her.
‘Jeez. You are beautiful’.
Silence.
‘Y’know you can’t just blurt out those things to a girl. She might get the wrong idea?’
‘Pretending to be asleep to avoid this conversation isn’t very lady-like either, though’, I know this statement pushed her to a corner, but I really wanted that warm sensation of her lips on mine. I don’t know if this sounds perverted but that is what my 12-year-old self wants at this moment. Man, I am a terrible human being.
‘….You were serious about earlier?’
‘Yup….I won’t exactly force you to do i---’
Next thing I knew her lifeless limp body became full of life---she came close to my already exhausted body. Only acting on instinct I slowly reached out my hand, they were shaking on her smooth skin. Her skin felt warm like as if it were lightly placed on a stove, her eyes full of---passion? I don’t know what she was seeing in her eyes but all I saw was a beautiful girl. I came closer, and closer, and closer….
***
Part Two---Burn
The infamous-jumping off a FOUR story bridge to get a kiss from the girl-turned into a full blow news article. From time to time I pick up the dusty local newspaper and read the details, which were written by my older sister who was an aspiring journalist at the time.
A couple of years had passed since then and now me and Serena were a full-blown couple. Its funny how even know in high school we are still considered as Beauty and the Beast. I’m not that ugly.
‘Hey, Kevin!’
‘Hm?’ I said on instinct. I looked around, oh yeah---senior year of highschool. And not JUST Senior year of high school---Graduation! How did I manage to zone out on a day like this!
‘Serena, wanna know something funny?’
‘Sure, but make it quick Han is about to make his dramatic ass speech’, she pointed to our friend up there, his blue robes way to big for his petite body. I owe this guy a lot---especially in that one drug incident--- he is what can be considered as a GOAT.
‘Well, never mind then I wanna hear Hans speech’.
‘Remember that time when he got me and Kelly out that club?’
‘Yes I remember, because I had to drive your drunk ass to your house and for some reason I GOT YELLED AT!’ I teased furiously.
I felt a cold touch on my shoulder, I looked around, ‘Stop your fuc---fricking flirting. Its disgusting!’ Logan said, his hair piercing through the graduation hat.
‘Ahhhh, its ok Logan just say it’, Serena joked, ‘Saying a curse word isn’t that bad, right Kevin?’
‘Why yes…Yes you fucking are’. We all had a good laugh---oh crap there’s Han!
Han stood in fron of the massive crowd, he had a pile of papers on his hand, showed them to the crown, then crumbled them up and tossed them backwards.
‘Yes! What a rebel!’
‘You dramatic shit!’
‘Go Han!’
The crowd went crazy. But Han silenced them with his raised hand---that hand saved me more than once.
‘My fellow Americans,’ he started, ‘We have now passed our childhoods greatest challenge---High fucking School!....... But like I said, we passed our CHILDHOODs greatest test, our new test is now adulthood. A merciless place where if you even turn up late you will get fired on the spot! Lets thank Mr.Pavlovich for that piece of information’. He pointed to a pale tall man, who for this occasion dressed like a pastor.
‘Way to go daddy Pav!’
‘We all love you!’
‘You didn’t round up my 69!’
Han, once again to calm the crowd, raised his hand, ‘Now, for the real part of this speech…To quote Rocky---The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, it will beat you down and keep you there if you let it! Here me my fellow American, Filipinos, African Americans, and even you gingers! I won’t sugarcoat it the next few years are going to be filled with massive success and devasting failure---but like the man and legend himself Kevin said---now, everyone say it with me-----’
I can’t believe he’s bringing that situation into his speech. I blushed of embarrassment.
‘FUCK IT!’
The next few days were filled with heartfelt cheer and sadness. Happiness because we were excited of this new phase of life---but sadness because this was a time where we would say goodbye to all our friends. I of course wanted them to stay but who am I to interfere with their happiness? Right now Serene called me to her house saying she had something important to say. Right when I entered the once warm building a child slithered itself up my spine. Why---why were there boxes everywhere? I saw Serena walk down from her stairs, I gave her what must have seemed like a desperate look because she install ran over to me, squeezing me to death.
‘I-I meant to tell you earlier…but with all the goodbyes I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this?’
Another one. WHY?! Why another one!
‘Whats Whats Whats….Whats going on?’ I was stuttering now, ‘If you’re moving…how far then?’
Silence. Shit! Please don’t leave it like this, say something!
‘We’re moving to New York’.
New York, Fort Worth…. Far away.
I said nothing, I simply brought her closer towards me. I simply embraced her and attempted to absorb all her warmth.
‘This, is…Goodbye, for now’. I whispered softly into her ears barely holding my own tears in.
‘Yeah, for now’.
***
Part 3-Growing Up.
‘I’ll be back!’ I exclaimed as I pedalled to the metal towards the mail house. It had been two years since she left, it hurt but we had been calling each other and sending mail to each other so it wasn’t all that bad. Each Sunday a letter would be there…from her, the most beautiful woman in the world.
I had been accepted to a college close by home, in Austin. After an incident with Han, a couiple of weeks after she Serena, I discovered that I had an ability to create something out of nothing. Thanks to some very stressful nights of writing I had been accepted and so far I’ve been living the good life.
The wind was being very bitchy today so by the time I reached the mail house I was ready to sleep in. I parked my bike at the entrance of the building, I knew the owner and she said that she would keep my bike safe when I came over. Opening the door the fresh smell of paper penetrated my nostrils, MAN! That smells great! Upon entry there were rows of massive bookcases containing both paper and soon to be delivered mail. I quickly ran into the hallways of hell and looked for my address…there it is!
I opened it, excited to see its contents…nothing.
‘That’s weird, usually her mails are here by this time’, I whispered to my self. I looked at my fake Gucci watch---8:30---yeah it should be here by this time…..BAKA! What am I worried about there’s always delays in this type of stuff. I slowly walked out the hallway compensating what I should do next. At this time I noticed that my phone was ringing, sorry whoever is calling but right now I need to focus on this dire situation. Multiple mailmen come in and out---I need to find the one heading into my column and then there I will get her note!
I quickly sat down and focused on the men coming in and out. No homo. As I sat there focusing on the task at hand my phone kept vibrating---stop calling me!
Hours must have passed and from what it seemed it looked like good ol’ drug dealer himself, Manuel, has called me 30 plus times….Maybe I should have answered it could be something important---nah he’s probably just calling me over to light up that bong! I promised myself to stop but I can’t help it.
At this moment I noticed a specific man walk pass me and head directly into---fuck yeah! Like a feminist to a rally I got there as quick as I could.
‘Whoa whoa whoa!’, the man said as I approached at top speeds, ‘The hell you running so fast for?’
‘Is there any mail in there for me?’ I went right to the point.
‘Uhhh, wait lemme see,’ he scanned through his pile of mail, ‘uhmmm, no nothing. Your Kevin Levertoure, right?’
‘The one and only! Now---are you sure because I heard that with aging comes certain negative effects on the eyes’.
‘Your funny…now get the hell out!’
I ended up getting kicked out. Looks like Jakes going to have to come next time. I sighed in exhaustion---what a morning. Welp, it seems like there was no note from her today. Its alright though she’s probably busy doing her own thing up there in New York. I walked off, the sun shining on my face and the breeze wafting through my hair.
What a beautiful day.
----
‘Son of a bitch!’, Manuel pushed me down towards the wet concrete. I groaned and looked up---why were my friends going against me! Didn’t we make a pact to never be fake!
‘What the fuck man!’ I yelled as I forced myself up, ‘Why the hell are you so damn mad!’
‘You ignorant shit’, Logan said, ‘He called you more than once—he called you 30 fucking tiems and you didn’t even bother to leave a message! Do you know what happened!’
‘You disgust me’, said a friend I had met in college, DeLuca.
I was genuinely terrified, my heart thumped ion fear, my eyes were watering in hurt, and most of all my skin was standing up. I was scared.
‘Please’, I was begging now, ‘What happened!’
‘Han fucking died!’
What. What are you saying.
‘Don’t joke lik---’
‘Shut the fuck up!’ Logan smacked me across the cheek, the part that hurt the most were his words.
He grabbed me by the collar and brought me up to his enraged face, ‘Last night Han got involved in some deep shit and ended up in the hospital! Yesterday morning he wanted all his friends there to be alongside him---you were the only who wasn’t there! I bet it was for that fucking girl you always talk about! I bet shes fucking another guy right now!’
‘Shut the hell up! She loves me and I her! No way she would do that!’, my enraged face against his. Man against Man. Hypocrisy against bravery.
He let me go, ‘Fine. You keep living your lie. Were out’. Logan walked past and Manuel followed. My friends. Don’t leave me. I need you! The rain was making them harder to see the further they got and soon they disappeared.
No.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no…………………………………………………y’know what? Fuck them.
I got up and looked towards the sky, cold rain pouring down onto me.
‘I love you, Serena……….and you love me---right? What am I saying, of course you do!’ I began to laugh---that sound of joy soon turned into despair as I realized that my happy life had just ended.
***
The door closed behind them, the pair rushed into the bedroom clothes already flying off. Serena grasped the mans neck and held him close as he grazed her smooth skin. The man pulled back and looked at her---Serena’s eyes were full of passion.
All I want, she though, is him around my neck. She brought him closer and soon their soft lips touched, their tongues in entwined, and their hearts beat as one.
‘You can go all the way if you want’, Serena whispered as she grabbed his lower body part.
‘Alright, but before that…..Are you sure you don’t want to mail that letter?’ he asked as he crawled lower and lower.
Ha! Why? She thought.
‘No, this is better’.
***
Part four(Final) Grown Up.
After Logan, Manuel, basically all my friends left me I developed depression. I would go into my room at night and grab a small tool knife. My wrist ended up bloody. I had been dropped from my College due to my lacking grades---also I couldn’t face them anymore.
On another note I found Serena’s social media---turns out she got married to another dude. When I saw that I put together why I hadn’t received letters for years know and I never had the energy to write her one. I don’t hate her---I am just beyond done with life.
I got up from my scratchy bed, I instantly stepped on multiple adult magazines, CIG buds, and prescription drug cases. Anything to escape reality. I extended the note I had written the day before---to put it bluntly my … suicide note. It was my time.
It was Christmas eve and I as all alone. I wandered the cold streets, and like a sudden beam of light. I saw her.
For a split second I saw an image of us running into each other’s arms, embracing each other. But that was quickly dismissed. I stopped in the middle of the busy street, I looked down to my shaking hands---and shoved them into my pocket.
But as I tried to avoid her she came up to me.
‘Have I seen you somewhere before?’, a very nice and beautiful woman asked me. Her face the color of almonds, her smooth black hair slicked perfectly down which rolled over her developed body, her black eyes piercing through my body…. but her hand was linked to that of another’s. Serena, I’m happy that your happy.
But why did it end this way?
‘Uhmm, I don’t believe so’, I forced myself to say. My hand clenched underneath my heavy cloak which had been smouldered by the smell of smoke.
How could you forget me?
‘Oh, well my bad! Have a good day!’ she awkwardly threw a smile as she carried her mans with her---heading to the lit Christmas tree where every family and couple were gathering together at.
I kept walking with my head down, on this frigid winter night.
’Well, here I am. I got on the bridges edge and stood up…. tears fell as this was a very nostalgic memory. Bridges and water.
But this time nobody was going to save me. I took one last look back at the Christ mass tree. Smiled---and jumped.
As I fell many memories came back to me---both good and bad. Logan, Manuel, Serena……. live a good life. I imagined them having kids, drining beers, and realized---I wanna be part of that.
……. I don’t want to die!
I reached out my hands towards the sky, I WANT TO LIVE!
But the darkness soon surrounded me.
End.