Before We Began

I wait patiently for a chance

for our hearts to quiver,

spasmed together.

Boldly, I want you in my life.

I stuff the sadness

of your absence

in my right front pocket,

taking it out once in a while

to ingrain you in my mind.

Is this the beginning

or the end

of our existence?

We are braided

closely together,

no matter how far

the ribbons unravel.

We both seek

the worlds in which

we are not,

wanting to tear

down the walls,

living for days

within our sanity.

Yearning, I touch

the glass window,

seeing to break

in pieces

the harsh reality

of you on the other side.

We are 50 struggling steps

beyond our time,

an allegorical street away

but there are no paths

connecting.

Striding down lonely roads

accompanied by hordes

of anxious souls,

my heart is heavy

without you

in my long tunnel

of disquiet,

a blinding haze.

I ran to hug you once

but you were only

lingering in my dreams.

The measure of distance

dashed in futility

on threatening rocks.

My body crumples

like scratch paper

without the pen

of you

inscribing our story.

I delete

my stark emotions

and slip beneath

the crying water,

wishing to embrace,

rather than imagine,

what could be

but never was.

And so, my love

we parted

before we began.