Alone and Diseased

I wish that I could rip out all the disgusting, teenage angst, bloody, raw, and dripping from my chest and shove it down your throat, so you know how it feels, you can know how it feels.

I miss the times that you weren’t on a raging, alcoholic, binge, drowning all your beauty with a bottle, trading me for liquid sin, for liquid sin.

If only I could let you know how using people feels, but I would never put you through the shit that you have put me through, you’ve put me through.

I’m fucking crazy. My mind has ran away from me, so maybe, you and me were meant to be alone and diseased, diseased and alone.

I know you think that I’m self-righteous from the way you’ve seen me act, but that doesn’t justify the lies you spread and shit you talk behind my back, behind my back.

To hope that one day things will be the way they were before is to expect for me to act my age and ignore the fact that you want more, that you want more.

You made me, don’t let someone else play with me, they’ll break me, just like you broke it off with me. Now we’re alone and diseased,

diseased and alone.

Circa 2008