Words

Words....

Words can hold so much power

To do good and to do bad

Speaking/Writing before thinking.....detrimental to everything

I waver between controlled messages ....and when sleep deprived and emotional

It turns to speak then think

Part of letting walls down is to feel things

All things....and try and express them when I can

Seeing something that triggered a spiral

I acted before thinking

It may have altered my world in a bad way

Me leaving here...has nothing to do with anything but my feelings

And.....my ego

Triggered....it snapped something inside me and splintered me into pieces

I have very little confidence when it comes to my sense of self

I feel very dispensable, replaceable....just another number

I don't know my worth or value, very few have taken the time to invest themselves in me

I lash out when upset, angry....hurt

I've done it before and repeated it this week

My head and heart hurts that I have

I know I need to work on it

I am hoping to find my peace again this week while away

I need to work on my actions vs words

I also need to learn how to deal with some dark feelings

I need to be able to handle things better....

I have to figure out how to protect my heart but at the same time keeping it open

So...I am leaving for a week, headed to a destination where I am forced to unplug

Where I will be alone with time to think

Time to change priorities in my world

Time to think about my future

As far as here.....I hope the time away makes me a bit stronger to come back

Figure out what I need to do to not have this happen again