Welcome to America

Welcome to America

Where we preach

about holding the powerful accountable,

but crackdown on drug dealers

long before we crackdown on Wall Street

If you sell drugs

Prepare to have the book thrown at you

If you cause our entire economy to crash

due to your own bad financial decisions

We’ll give you billions of dollars

in bailout money

Welcome to America

Where we preach democracy

even though we made bribing politicians

legal in all, but name

Where we preach democracy

Even though we created a system

in which representatives

can choose their voters

instead of having their voters chose them

(Gerrymandering anyone)

Welcome to America

Where it’s normal for us

to brag about our wealth

And demonize the poor

in the same damn speech

(Those lazy, entitled brats)

Welcome to America

Where we ignore our problems

by kicking the can so far down the road

that we run out of road

And are finally forced to face our problems

because we have no longer have a choice

(We procrastinate on a global scale!)

Welcome to America

Where the rich get richer

And the poor get poorer

Welcome to America

Where we preach human rights

while supporting 73% of the world dictators

Welcome to America

The greatest country on Earth

Stolen land of the free

And home of a significant number of patriots

who consider it patriotic

to never question

the actions of the government

(Now salute the flag

Like America’s education system taught you)