Untitled Feelings

It’s getting harder to put these feeling to words

I’m so angry it makes me sick

And this sadness has stolen nearly all of my spine

I feel everything but it’s not enough

There are echoes in my collarbones

I feel like I’m being crushed

Trying to build myself up one brittle bone at a time

And I cry

I clench my jaw

I hold a fist so tight that my finger nails rip through my palms

I’m afraid of myself - who is in control?

I try to throw up in hopes that the demons will come out of me,

But I’m still full

I’m still emptier than I ever thought I could be

I wanted to be at home with you, but it’s just one more hell and now I’m locked in

I cannot escape

I’ll never be free

You cannot protect me from yourself

You cannot help me help myself

You cannot fix what your hands have scarred

This does no justice to the feeling slicing through my skin,

But it’s something

It’s just not enough

-AshleyAnne