Nothing

I find myself feeling nothing again,

As I write with a numb, heaviness in my fingertips,

Desperately searching for emotion only to find none.

It's not the first time,

I'm not surprised, I just had hoped that I could evade it longer,

Or should I welcome the emptiness threatening to envelop me with open arms?

I find myself unsure whether I simply do not know or I do not care,

I think lately it's been quite a bit of both,

How I long to feel anything at all; lust, pain, anger, sadness, even regret...

Anything, rather than the nothingness that claims me as it's own.

As I sink into oblivions arms,

The mind numbing reality hits me,

And I realize the insignificance of existence