studying.

The word studying is a contraction of the words student and dying.

I’ve read this page 12 times and I still can’t pay attention. Last night was the first time I actually gave something my full attention for the first time in probably 4 months. I can’t focus on anything and when I try to everything falls apart. My brain is constantly moving a million miles and hour and during algebra when I start talking to myself and doing the math in my head people say “wow- that’s really fast” and it’s never accurate but that’s because my brain is too focused on other things to think about algebra and parent functions and vertex forms and parabalas. Schools don’t realize that students have lives outside of school, jobs, emotional distress, home troubles. They don’t realize that students have enough stress coming from other places and don’t need extra work.

Finals week and my schools version of dead week is coming up. I’m not gonna be able to get through it because of everything else going on. Everytime I try to study I put on light piano music because the silence is deafening. I can’t focus and concentrate on anything anymore. It’s driving me and my teachers insane. I try to fake it but I just can’t.