choices

What am I doing?

Tears fill my heart, but I don't have enough strength or courage to let them roll down my face. Everyday I continue to make stupid choices. Everyday I go against what my true self is saying is wrong. I can feel my soul, what is it doing?

Lie. Lie. Lie.

Choices. Choices. Choices.

No.

Yes?

Who am I to be such a fool? Do I even have the right to be this way? Probably not. Yet, here I am.

"Take a break." I can hear a whisper from a voice that used to be so strong and evident. Now it's being pushed back.

I know someday that I'll break down. The tears will feel like a burn in my eyes and leave ghastly stains on my cheeks. That headache will rumble on because I won't have control to stop.

All I can seem to think about is not to lose myself. Although it already feels as if pieces of me are gone.

"Make good choices." I always tell my older brother.

He always says back, "make smart choices."

Yeah, maybe I'll try that.