Not really there

You're mine, but you're not, you never were. I've been yours for as long as I can rememeber, but not you. I feel you, I know you're the warm body next to mine, but its like a ghost is inhabiting my room. A blank stare, like you can't even see me. You've been mine for years, but I've never really had you. You've had me from the first glance and now I'm stuck feeling so stupid for wanting you. I should have you. I shouldn't have to feel so insecure about very move I make. I shouldn't feel like I need to constantly get you, constantly trying to keep you and I never succeed. You've been aloof, constantly just out of reach whilst still firmly in my grasp and its like I'm just not holding on tightly enough. I'm going to smother you when all I wanted was to catch your attention. I'm always yours, but I can't have you. Not really.