Broken

It’s hard to think of how it used to be

When we would run through open fields

With our arms outstretched

Never caring where we were going

Or who was watching

We just liked to feel the wind

Gliding through our hair

It’s hard to think of when it all changed

We grew up

We made mistakes

We figured out life isn’t always perfect

We started doing all we could

To keep from being judged

We just wanted to fit in

And the only way to fit in

Is to be exactly who they want you to be

But our memories never left our minds

We still longed for those summer days

With no purpose

Now, we spend our days

Searching for purpose

It didn’t matter then

We could be happy without reason

We could be us without reason

It’s hard to realize that back then,

I knew exactly who I was

And now, I can’t seem to figure it out

It seems I had a better grasp on life

When I knew less

But the more I learn,

The more broken I become

The more confused I become

I still don’t have purpose

I still don’t know where I’m running to

But I find no joy in not having the answers

I wish I still didn’t care

I wish life was still all I needed

The older I get, the more questions I have

And none of them are being answered

None of my problems are going away

How do I put myself back together?

How do I get back to that empty field?

All I want

Is for my broken pieces to be put back together

But it seems like that’s too much to ask

It’s hard to be broken

When you remember so vividly

A time when you were whole