Purple- Oh Dear

Dear Dr. doctor,

It is with my greatest pleasure to inform you that I am certainly dead. The visits and hospital stays have been sensational, but with a sad adieu- I must put an end to our awful tryst. To be in half honesty, I have been crying purple tears this whole time, and you mis-diagnosed me as crying with green tears. So I’ve died because the green tear pills do not fix the purple tear pills. It is not your fault that you are color blind. But is every centimeter of my fault that I have cried purple instead of green.

Do tell your wife I said hello. I fancy that the children are continuing to be well on vacation.

Yours truly,

I should not have told you that I was crying purple even though I was crying purple.

Oh Dear. I will miss the mail man.