Hollow Be Thy Name

Hi God! I heard in church today that you make miracles happen, and know the answers to everything! I asked my mommy how to talk to you, and she said just pray. Please let me be an astronaut when I grow up, and convince mom to buy me a dog. No- A puppy. A puppy that'll be a puppy forever that'll never get too big! And thank you for ice cream. Amen.

God, Dad told me that there are people who weren't good enough for heaven and are waiting in purgatory for someone to pray for them. I pray that everyone in purgatory turns into a good person, and gets to go to heaven. Thank you! Amen.

Hello God. My friend told me that you don't exist. I told him he was dumb, and that you do. Please forgive him, and let him into heaven anyway. He is a nice person, and he's really good at Pokemon. Amen.

Umm, hi God. I want to say sorry for kissing another girl today. I was dared to do it, but I really didn't want to. Is it wrong to have liked it? I know you said it's wrong, and that only bad people are gay, but I don't feel like a bad person. Please forgive me. Amen.

God, I have a boyfriend now, and I really do like him. We might get married someday. I still kind of like girls too though. Am I going to hell if I like boys and girls? Amen.

Hey again God. We were talking about World War II in school today. Why did you let so many people die? Is it because they were Jews? I know lots of jewish kids, and they're all really nice. I even went to Steven's Bar Mitzvah, and it sounds like they worship you too. I don't understand. Please answer me. Amen.

My boyfriend broke up with me, and I'm feeling really alone, and hurt. I don't know who to talk to. I thought things were going well, but he just turned around and broke my heart. Please comfort me. Amen.

Someone came to school today to talk about sex. It looks really scary, and they told me I could get diseases from it. Why did you have to make sex so scary? Please let me understand. Amen.

I told my mom and dad that I sometimes like girls too, and they freaked out. I'm really, really sorry. They told me it was wrong, and that I should talk to you about it. I promise I'll never kiss another girl ever again. Please fix me. Amen.

Hey, God, it's been awhile. I know I've stopped going to church, and I'm sorry about that. Nana is really sick, and I'm really afraid for her. I really love her, and I want her to see my concert at school. She's always prayed to you, and she's been there for me whenever I needed it. If you save her I promise I won't sin ever again. Please heal her. Amen.

I know I'm not supposed be angry with you, but fuck you God. They said at Nana's funeral that you will love and watch over her. If that were true though then why did you let her get sick? She wasn't that old, and she should have lived longer. I don't know if you're even listening anymore, but if you are, then for the love of- for the love of you, please let her into heaven. She deserves at least that much. Amen.

God, if you're out there somewhere I hope you're listening. If not, then I guess I'm just talking to myself again. It's been a rough freshman year of college, but I guess it's a little better with Jess. I guess I broke my promise, because we've been kissing, and then some. I hope all is well with you up there because things are just peachy in this shit-show of a world you created. Please let mom and dad be cool with Jess. Amen.

I just want to let you know that Jess and I are eloping. We're getting married in Massachusetts in the spring. Mom and dad won't be there. I know you're normally not to keen on these types of weddings, but please let us love each other through sickness and through health, and all of that. Amen.

Well it took a donor and nine months, but Jess just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I know it's impossible, but somehow, I think he has my eyes. We're naming him Joseph, after Jess' dad, and another father I know. It's been a long time since I've prayed to you, let alone thanked you, so I might be a little rusty at it, but here goes. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for this day, my son, my amazing wife, and for the miracles of modern science. Please watch over him and keep him strong. Amen.

I still don't know if you're out there, but if you are, I want to say thank you for letting the rain hold out on us for Josephs fifth birthday, and thanks for letting me talk Jess out of hiring a clown. I just spoke to mom for the first time since college. She still hate's Jess, but at least we're talking. Please let that continue. Amen.

Oh God. Oh God. I know I've asked for a lot in my life. Probably more than anyone should, but please, just give me this one. I just want one miracle. Joseph is sick. We thought it was just the flu, but he woke us up tonight with his coughing, and he couldn't breathe. We're taking him to the ER now. He's so cold. Please let him live. Please. Amen.

Why God? Why would you let him die? He meant the world to me. Jess won't say a word. You won't either. All I want is a sign. Just a word. Something to tell me that you aren't dead too. Something to let me know things will all work out somehow. That you have a plan, and that taking Joesph from me was some how part of that. Just a sign. Please God. Please.