Boy (space) Friend?

You scroll through your Instagram mindlessly when a notification pops up. You click on it without a second thought. Him. Him who sits next to you in chemistry. Him who smells like aftershave and honey. Him wants to talk to you. Him says what’s up. You eagerly reply with a simple “not much.” You don’t want to over do it. You keep your eyes glued to the screen waiting for it to show your text has been seen. Your heart leaps when it's looked at it in under five minutes. Him must really want to talk to you. The typing bubble pops up and soon his reply is there. This pattern continues all weekend. Friday evening through Sunday night. You talk about lots of things from movies, to family, to embarrassing stories. It’s nice and you find yourself telling him things you’ve never told anyone. When him compliments you, your cheeks turn pink. You feel silly but don’t care. Monday morning comes and you are eager as you drive to school. You cannot wait to talk to him like you have been the last couple days. You wonder if you’ll be best friends now. Or if you’ll at least talk in the hallways. Half the school day has gone by and you’ve not yet seen him. Oh well you’ve still got science. Walking into the classroom your eyes scan the room until they land on yours and him’s table. You see him and immeditaly bite your lip to keep from smiling. Images of flirty texts scrolling through your mind certainly don’t help. But when you reach him, nothing happens. Not a hey. Not a head nod. Barely any recognition of your presence at all. That’s weird. It wasn’t you who sent the first message. It was him right? Was this a joke? Was it just fun to him? No. No you’re being paranoid. Just say hi. So you did. You got a sarcastic wave in return. Panic rose in your chest. This is the same person in my DMs...right? You decide to leave it alone and to sit quietly in your confusion. When the last bell rings you are the first one out the door. At home you change from your blue jeans into sweats and you put your straightened hair up into a ponytail. Just as you finish removing the day’s makeup your phone dings. Your brows furrow when you see who it is. “Hey beautiful ;)” At first you’re a little mad. What gives him the right to brush you off in person and then act like a casanova on the phone? But then you read the text again. And you smile slightly that he thinks you’re beautiful. And then you stare at the winky face for a good two minutes- all anger gone. You text back a normal reply saying nothing about today. And so it repeats. Talking all night on the phone but being ignored in person the next day. You let it go the first 3 times- thinking maybe him was working up the courage. But by the 4th time, you realized this was not right. You just didn’t understand. Him was so funny and charming in the texts. While in real life him blatently flirted with every breathing female...well except for you that is. Was there something wrong with you in person? Was him embarrassed to be seen talking to you? You felt your cheeks heat up a bit-but this time with self-shame and embarrassment. You wish you hadn’t given him this power over you...but here we are. That night when you received the usual text, you did not reply. The next night, you did not reply. Though it was getting a little hard. The 3rd night the message said something different then the usual hello and compliments. “Hey are you ok? Why aren’t you talking to me?” For real? For him to ask you that is pure irony. Still you did not reply. You don’t know what you expected really. Him to apologize profusely at school the next morning? Him to beg your forgiveness for completely leading you on? Doesn’t matter because neither happened. You were met with the same silent, beautiful figure who never acknowledged your presence. Although he was slowly becoming less and less attractive to you. That night him texts you one last time. “Ok. I don’t know what you’re deal is but you’re ridiculous. Bye.” You chuckle slightly to yourself because it’s clear him’s pride has been hurt. Boys. You realize you’ll probably never understand them but you settle for this. No boy, or person for that matter, that can’t treat you the same in all situations is worth knowing. So him gradually started becoming just a he and you both spent chemistry in awkard silent harmony.