Waldrops on my window pain

Never realized I had a type,

Till i was seeing you in everyone I dated after.

And I mean the good times..

Your perfect smile, your goofy laughter.

And I know we not together,

I know you and her “forever”..

But I just had to get it out,-

Been awhile since I wrote you a letter.

And they still don't get it.

They never felt the way I feel…

Silly me, how did I not see-

That you wasn't keeping it real.

I started chasing the money,

Trynna make our dreams come true.

Sleepless nights, 2 jobs, and school-

I was doing it all for you.

But you started chasing these hoes,

Swearing you could finesse…

Shoulda nipped that in bud,

Shoulda known you was seeing her undress.

I don't regret my time with you,

Although a majority of it was just a mess..

I’d clean up after you no matter what,

Come back and put me to the test.

I pray this makes it's way to you,

Who I'm praying to, I'll never know.

But just know at night I prayed for you.

Told the Lord to never let you go,

And even if you not with me

I'm hoping you still catch your glow.

And even if you not with me,

I still hope you grow.

Cause my goal was never to hurt,

My goal was never to throw dirt on you,

My goal was never in a million years

Though I fight back a million tears

To ever desert you.

I'm at peace with what we are,

But I can't believe we went that far..

I can't believe you so mean now,

Can't believe we aint on the same team now,

Can't believe after everything,

Even after the promise ring,

You’d turn around and act so green now.

You being slimey,

When you was with me,

You was grimey.

Almost boxed up ya baby mama,

Was waiting for any bitch to come try me.

You had my self esteem up high,

Then you left me out to just dry..

I'm not saying I'm perfect either..

But damn, did you even really try?

Like damn how could you just forget?

And treat me like I aint shit?

You said you seen a future with me,

But now you ducked off with the next bitch?

I promise I'm not bitter,

I wish shawty the best..

I hope when you kick her to the curb,

She doesn't label you like the rest.

Cause baby you different.

You broke my heart in two..

But something about the pain,

I guess will always lead me back to you..

Excuse me while I go heal,

I'm bad at concealing how I truly feel.

Might walk around looking like a meal,

But it's my thoughts I can't REVEAL.

And it makes me sick..

Knowing forever I'll be that chick:

“Niggas aint shit”

In my bio, Profile pic-

Me looking thick.

My dms filled, my phone too wet

But I can't talk to no one else cause I'm upset.

Aint no Mr.Right,

Cause my Mr.Right just left.

Love,

Janey