Tell me how to feel, Can you tell me how to think?
You go and run your mouth
Not caring what I say
Tell me how to feel,
Can you tell me how to think?
Oh my apologies
I forgot that I wasn’t my “own”
Just another “carbon copy”
With the same way of thinking,
And feeling as you
I mean how else would explain?
The gnawing disgust and fear
In every mirror when I wake up.
When I look and want to shed
This awful skin that won’t come off
When the sounds of my voice
Forces me into a state of silence
That constant film on repeat
Where everyone knows the lines
To the character you are “meant” to play
But you are just froze
In silence
Stage fright eating away at you
And all you can do is go along
And smile…
Smile through the pain
Oh wait…
“I don’t feel this way” to you
I guess it’s not real then
But wait it is!
Because I am who I am
And you aren’t me
My thoughts aren’t yours
Nor anyone else’s
I’m not doing this for attention
Or to “fit” in
I’m doing this for me
To be myself
Completely
Without letting others’ get in the way
Because for so long
I tried to be what everyone wanted
I didn’t think of me
All I thought was if others’ were happy
I did everything
And what did it get me?
Nothing!
I tried to make people happy
Nobody stays satisfied
And you can try, try, try
And keep thinking
If you make them content
Then you will be happy
But that doesn’t happen!
You can’t expect to build yourself up
If you never put yourself first
’Cause people are going to break you
Take your stones
And try to ruin the very foundation
That keeps you alive
And like a sun
That pushed away the clouds
I realized this
If I want to be happy
Then I got to be myself
Nothing compares
To the way I feel
When I look in that mirror
And see actually see
My smile spreads on my face
And I am ready for the day
The comfort from the layers
That hides what shouldn’t be
I won’t throw myself away for others
Instead I’m on a path
A path to just being me
A path to happiness
Because what really is life worth
To push yourself around
If you aren’t happy in the end?