Oh baby!

I'm scared.

He kickes and tumbles.

My belly grows each week.

Oh shit. Run to the bathroom.

Feel the pizza crust and stomach acid rise and bubble in my throat.

It's not the morning, but yet that's what this is, morning sickness.

The cool gel below my belly button. And a small machine that beeps in 4D. Showing the images of him growing and moving. Healthy. They say.

Fuck. It's the middle of traffic, and my bladder is going to explode. Pull over real quick. I can't unbutton and unzip fast enough. Ahhh finally the release of fluid from my body.

It's not like I can see my toes anywa- I WANT ICE CREAM AND CHEESE ITS. AND PICKLES WHIP CREAM AND HOT SAUCE!

I'm scared. What if I fail? What if I drop him? On his head? I don't want to be like my parents. But I don't know what else to go off of.

Everyone who isn't me says "oh baby!" like he's cute and lovable. Aww. But you dont know the fear. You aren't me. You're not the one growing him inside your womb. This is my baby. And I am scared.