No Way Out

I sit on my front porch

Staring into space

I don’t know what to do

I’m all over the place

I’m feeling so unloved

So unwanted and worthless

My entire being feels empty

I can’t take much more of this

I don’t know where these feelings are coming from

And why they are what I feel

They just came and took over

Like my happiness was just something to steal

I’m feeling so jealous

Cause everyone has people who care

I am one of the odd ones

Cause I literally have no one there

People around me

Have so many friends

To pick up the pieces

And make all the mends

All I have is just one person

And that person is me

I can’t depend on anyone else

No one will ever set me free

I’m doomed to this world

Of loneliness and sadness

There will be no laughter

No sounds of joyful bliss

I’ll lay here and wait

Until someone breaks down my wall

I don’t care who it is

As long as they catch me when I fall

That sound so desperate

But that’s because its true

I need someone who cares

And turn my black skies blue

I desperately need someone to love me

Love is something I’ve never had

I don’t even love myself

God, that’s so sad

But that just won’t happen

Those cards will not play out

I am not meant to have anyone

I truly know this without a doubt

No one will ever come to my rescue

When I’m paralysed with fear

I’m just not worth saving

I scream, but no one is ever close enough to hear

I will forever walk this road

The road of lonely souls

I will be this way forever

When these tears finally take their toll

But until then I’ll sit here on my porch

And I’ll keep staring into space

I don’t want to be me any more

I just gotta get out of this place

C. Lodge