turned.

my eyes open

the waves are crashing outside

and the sheets next to me are empty

and cold

I reach over and grasp them tightly with my hands

wondering where the night went

wanting it to come back

as I gaze at the pale blue sky through the window

there's the smell of cigarettes coming from the balcony

and I step outside without anything on

while he sits on an old chair

dressed in trunks and an unbuttoned shirt

I didn't know he smoked

or could look so sad all at once

and I know deep down

that my hangover can only mean one thing

I said something I shouldn't have

and now he's angry

and as cold as the wind coming from the mainland

and I'm scared

I retreat to the bedroom to put on some clothes

but he follows me inside

and stands in the doorway

like a statue in a graveyard

and he tells me I can't leave

I look back and gaze into those soft blue eyes

wondering what happened last night

after I got so drunk

he lurches toward me

his lips press against mine and we're locked together

his hands to my neck

my hands to his clothes

I strip him down

like ripping petals from a flower

we fall onto the bed

and our love is drenched in anger

the light blue world turns to crimson

poison drips from his lips to mine

fingernails become the sharpest talons

and blood turns to ice

he says he wants to eat me alive

so that I can never go

so that I'll always be with him

and rage fills me

I'm suddenly on top of him

my hands grip tightly like vices

my teeth burry into the skin of his neck

and he lets out a scream

my stomach twists in a knot

I'm on the opposite side of the room

I'm breathing heavily

and he's on the bed whimpering

he begins to cry

I turn and leave the beach house

walking toward town

as if in a trance

and I feel sick