Love letter 1.

Hello,

I have seen you get jealous and it can be pretty becoming of you. It is so rare that Mr. Rak gets jealous. It was over the knife. Even when I told Julia about it, first thing said was “do I hint a bit of jealousy from Mr. Corey Rak?”

It was mildly humorous. I know you love me. I can see it in the little things you do. I can see it when you look over at me while you’re playing games. Sneaking glances and such, so you can’t be noticed. You will always be my number one. Always. That will never change. I know we have a long road left to travel, but I adore saying that we have that. I can’t imagine what goes on in your head. I know I say that often, but I really wish I knew, so I could make your thoughts happy, true and everything they should be. Easy, low stress and full of dreams. I wish I could make everything in your life more than easy and smooth. The thing is, I am not very easy and smooth. I know you work hard for me, for Kyra and yourself. I see it. I also see a man that will fight for me and grow for me. I see a man willing to work on himself as much I me. I can’t take all the credit for that, but I do think me getting better does help you.

I can never take back the moments I have had or the things I may have accused you with (The whole you not even caring moment-i.e: the broken remote night). What I do know is I have plenty of time to make it up you. We have plenty of time to make everything what it should be and what it can be. Since we will be doing it together, life will be just that much easier. I do know that I want you to be in love with me and I want you to want a future with me, not jsut because you can tolerate and be content with me. I want us to have a relationship that is bigger and stronger than I either of us could have ever had apart.

What I can promise you, is that tomorrow will be better. So will the day after. I won’t regress so much, when or if I do. (I have to be prepared, because sometimes no matter what you do, you still fall here and there.) The main thing is changing my thinking and working on myself. Changing the way I see the world and the way I see myself. Trusting you and really trusting you. Accepting what you say, without needing to find out myself. Being confident in the fact that the man I picked, the man that I can’t live without feels the same. I will not say I can just cut off my feelings for you like you never existed. I know I can live without you and you myself. The beauty here is that neither of us want to. You are like a first love or a first kiss, the exception here is I get to have you. I get to hold you and dream about you, only to wake and smell you lingering in the covers. The pillow that I roll my face into is always warm. Having you is something I can thank God for, because having you is like having a real life miracle. You are a real life miracle. When we come to an end, I only hope we go together so that way I never have to worry about finding you; we will already be together. I want my end to be with you, and if destiny has me search for you all over again, I will never stop, no piece of land will go unturned until I am rightfully so back in your arms.

Goodbye Love