The Dinky Closet

Dear Under the Door,

Hey, do you mind letting the Higher Ups know about me? I honestly think there's been some kind of mistake. Please let them know,

I didn't DO anything. Therefore, I shouldn't be here.

Before you leave this dinky death closet in the middle of who-knows where, I'd very much appreciate it if you took this letter to the boys upstairs and told Him that He is missing a soul. Because, once again,

I didn't DO anything.

Therefore, I SHOULDN'T be here.

And if He doesn't want to play ball? Hey, no harm done, at least you tried.

And since you've tried once, what's to stop you from trying again?

Nothing. At. All.

That's the spirit! Now, I've prepared a list of reason's I don't belong in here that I think will bring a lot of substance to my case.

1) The door is locked from the outside.

2) The door is locked from the outside.

3) The door is locked from the outside.

Very important points, these. Notice the one about the door? I consider that Top Priority. Of course, I'd be grateful if any of the above requests were addressed ASAP.

It's a little boring in here. And then there's the door.

Locked. From the outside. You remember.

You must have missed letters #1 through 999,999,999. But hey, don't sweat it! We're all busy busy bees, and eternity won't last forever!

Yeah.

Anyway.

Good luck, and enjoy the rest of your Afterlife!

Sincerely,

Humble Tortured Soul

P.S. If the door thing doesn't pan out, please request a new window. It's stuck.