Not a Family Unit

"Through it all, the family unit stayed together"

Such a simple sentence

But did we?

Left in a house when you went to work for 12 hours

Him already gone to a different town due to work

Me a teen and him a pre teen

Only really left while you went to work

But, no father around

It continued for a few more years until you both left

Two of us in an apartment for most of the time while you were living in a different town

I was 19 he was three years younger

How do you learn to grow up that fast

No guidance

No leadership

It's continued since then

The absentee man in our lives

Learning to not expect anything

You defending him but not liking some of the decisions

He made them without consulting you later in life

Taking you farther away

Looking at the two of us

We have had our own struggles

I only know glimpses of them

I have mine

I know all to well

Some too many to list

You look at us when we pass comments about him and him not being around

You act surprised that we have issues and emotions about it

But, really, how could you be?

Guilt is something he feels

Tries to make up for it

But, it is history repeating over and over

Even as adults

Learning to not expect anything

It's easier than to get hopes up

It trickles into my everyday life

A small bit of hope

But know that it will be dashed

I can hope that things could change

But this late in life

It's easier to believe that it won't