Hug All Your Friends.

We broke up. Four years now. But we weren’t lovers - at least not in the traditional sense. We lived together. Cooked together. Failed and succeeded together. Laughed, loved, lost, learned at each other’s side. I called your mom “Mom” and you called my sisters “sister”. I cursed the boys who left you and cried on your shoulder while you cried on mine.

Our kids were gonna grow up next door to each other. Laughing, loving, losing, and learning at each other’s sides. But then this funny thing happened - we stopped talking. We just argued. We got new people to talk to and cry with and we forgot the names of each other’s family. But we didn’t forget each other. I still wake up with fresh tears in my eyes when I dream of your face, your laugh. I can’t imagine anyone else’s face in the crowd on my happiest days and I can’t forget your number on my worst.

This is why breaking up with your best friend is the worse kind of break-up. You invest in friends, knowing they’ll be there on the saddest days. You don’t ever prepare for when they aren’t there anymore.

Why am I still crying over a person I haven’t even seen in 3 years? Why do I still feel the urge to text you the most random thoughts during my day? When will your ghost leave me be? Will I tell me kids about the best friend I ever had, and lost? Will I dream of you when I’m laying alone in a home one day when my children have children and they have children who don’t even know my name?

Is it too late?