past-tense lies

i never told you that

i loved you.

i wished i could forget

that you smiled like that

that you were so kind

that you made those stupid jokes

that loving you was my chronic illness

that you were the

only

person who appreciated me.

but i couldn’t forget.

no matter how many

tears

fell

d

o

w

n

my face,

my love for you never drowned.

and even as i try to treat you as

past tense,

you will always be my

pastpresentfuture love.