When is it Okay to Lie?

The very word illicits uncomfortable feelings in me. I liken it to a dirty word. It makes me cringe inside. I didn't always feel that way, though.

I used to be a champion liar. I spoke and wrote lies like it was okay. I didn't have any moral objections back then. The lies flowed out of my mouth effortlessly.

"Did you eat dinner?"

"Yes." (no)

"Did you throw up after?"

"Of course not!" (yes, I did)

Not only did I tell verbal lies, I wrote lies as well. I skipped school all the time. Ostracized by all the students in my high school since my freshman year, why wouldn't I skip school? A note from your parent or guardian explaining your absence was obligatory. Of course.

But did I admit to my parents that I skipped school? Heck no!

Enter forgery. I got good at it. Varying signatures ever so slightly is normal. Exact copies raise suspiscion. I forged notes all the time and got away with every single one.

I'm ashamed now to admit, I took advantage of the trust I had earned.

I continued to lie after graduation. My eating disorder still full speed ahead demanded lies. But at some point in time, the frequency of my fibs decreased. Three years out of high school I got married and had my first son. I didn't find any occasion that needed a lie. Not that I was looking for one.

As I started sharing my eating disorder journey, I told people how much lying was involved. I even smiled and declared myself a great liar. "I was so good at it!" And let me tell you, that is not something you should be proud of.

Nowadays, I really try not to lie. I don't want to be a liar. And to be truthful with you all, I slip sometimes. Mostly out of panic. Realistically, who doesn't lie from time to time? I would never believe anyone who says, "I never lie." Even little fibs are technically lies. And little white lies? Big or not, they're still lies.

But, is it ever okay to lie? The answer to that is purely personal. If it were me, I'd lie if it meant safety for someone.

I'd lie if it meant meeting the basic needs of someone.

I won't lie to save someone's ass from jail.

I won't lie to spare someone from punishment.

I won't lie if I am at fault for something.

Perhaps most importantly, I won't lie about who I am as an individual.

Determining when it's ok to lie is up to you. Your morals and principles may differ from mine. There is no concrete answer.

This might be a good time to start thinking about if you've never thought about it. You may be faced with a hard situation someday. A hard decision. I'd encourage you to go over every scenario you can think of and ask yourself, "Would I lie in this situation?"