I Chose Me

I am sorry.

I am so so sorry.

I chose me.

And it came at the cost of breaking you.

You always loved me.

You wanted me to love you.

I wanted me to love you too.

But something never quite fit.

I never felt the fire.

If I had sacrificed that fire, would you still be here?

Messaging me funny things,

caring about my aching heart?

Or would you have gone regardless?

I chose me, and it broke you.

It broke me too.

Because though I never was in love,

I always loved you.

And when I chose me,

You let me be

a broken, and sorry mess.

I broke you, I broke me.

Because you couldn't see,

my heart couldn't have chosen you.

I was always stuck on him.

Now you've left,

and all I see is misery.

How is this a victory?

Choosing me?

I miss you.

I wish you'd come back to me.

I wish you'd choose me,

without needing more.

I wanted you,

but I chose me.