29 reads

Book Snippet

“At what point do you stop? Or do you just keep going? Keep hurting?” I scream at Mason through my tears.

“You will never understand me Elise. Don’t try. Don’t bother.” Mason keeps his eyes off of mine as he speaks.

“So what, you just ignore anyone who could care about you because you’re afraid?”

“The thing is, people don’t care. The sooner you learn that, the better off you will be in life. I’m sorry you haven’t grasped this yet, but because I’m a jackass let me open your eyes!”

He continues, playing off of my silence.

“For starters-“ Mason holds up a finger and his eyes brush over mine. “Trip doesn’t care. He cares about his cause, and ways to make his cause succeed. Marie seems like she cares, but she is selfish and only cares about her individual success, should you get in the way of that, you will be ignored and cast off to the side.”

Mason holds up a third finger, a hunger lights up in his eyes and in this moment I know the only thing he wants is for me to feel the pain that he does, to suffer like he makes himself suffer. To believe the lies he’s telling me. The same lies he tells himself.

“Mick doesn’t care. He cares about maybe two people in the entire world and one of them is dead.” His voice drops on the word. “Aubrey doesn’t care because she’s a fucking psycho who managed to murder a quarter of you idiots.”

Looking up is like looking into a hurricane. The wind of his words cuts into my heart, and the force of his eyes makes my breath shallow.

“I don’t care about you. You were the catalyst of this destruction. You got the only person I cared about killed.

“You’re wrong. You’re wrong about everyone and how you think they don’t value you.”

But everyone is lost. Everyone is gone. Everyone is dead. And they aren’t coming back. They won’t see success or failure anymore. The sun, the stars and moon. They won’t love or be loved. They won’t cry over the things we’ve cried over, they won’t ever be here.

Be strong. A whimper forces its way in between quick breaths. “I’m tired of being strong.” My body aches with the realization of everything I tried to put behind me; everything I thought I had begun to heal from.

Loss cripples me and gravity pulls me. Dust explodes into my face, latching onto every tear shed, its thirst evident and hungry. I hit the earth. Lost. Again. Gone. Again. Dead. Over and over I think these words. I claw at the earth until the sight of blood reminds me of physical pain.

Inhaling deeply, I let the sting of shredded flesh soak into my nerves, I feel the dirt fuse with my pain, making mud out of my blood and tears. I sit on my knees relishing the warmth of the sun in the midst of a dying day and think of how I must look right now. Sooty and unstable. Desperate. Broken.

Having gained some sanity, I look down at my hands.

“Oh, oh, oh” Heat swells in my veins bringing a different kind of tear to my eyes. My knuckles have turned into a bloodied, indistinguishable mess of loose skin and soot.

“Give me water.” I don’t look at Mason as I make my demand, I’m afraid of what I’d see.

Mason stands idle, and I imagine him proud of himself for my agony and the tightness of my chest, the tears and the loss of mind, the way he’s reminded me of everything I lost.

Be strong. Be strong.

Sooooo.... I literally have not written in a year and have lost all of my ability *cries many tears* I am trying to gain it back and am hoping to get better again. As usual, any thoughts, insight, tips, and constructive critisism are SO GREATLY APPRECIATED AGHH okay bye for now

ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO ME

#action#book#sneakpeak#advice#help