The Spillers

Evan had a way of disarming people. Of leading them to confront and divulge their truths. She recalled countless secrets that have been poured into her over the years. Souls not yet healed from rape, deaths, raging mental illness....She heard some of it all. And she carried it. It was often not a gift she used intentionally or even skillfully. Rather, it happened at the most seemingly random moments. Evan figured that she often intercepted people in moments where they were most vulnerable. And this way she had about her lead many to spill the things weighing heaviest on their hearts. She found it very curious and it often seemed helpful for the "spillers". But it usually took a toll on her own spirit. Exhaustion and hyper-sensitivity often followed these encounters. It was like a nonequivalent exchange. She received people's problems in exchange for her energy  and had no where to pour what was poured into her. But energy was, fortunately, in no short supply for Evan. It would take a long time to recover, but Evan was able to recharge herself. This way of being, of course, attracted vampiric-like people. She began to refer to them as the "takers."

The difference between takers and spillers had to do with how they came into her life and their intentions. Spillers often stumbled into her life by happenstance and often did not look to engage with Evan. Takers on the other hand, had a more magnetic appeal. Almost a seeking out through some soul-radar. And they sought refuge...they were leeches. Evan would spend most of her life learning to distinguish between the two and honing the skills needed to protect herself. 

One night in college, Evan went out with a dear friend Sona. They'd met up with a friend of Sona's named Beth. Evan was not one to enjoy college parties very much, and found them to be full of strange dynamics and toxic energy that revealed how ruined most people were. But she had been trying to teach herself to loosen up and have "fun". So she decided to smoke weed with Sona and Beth. Evan had no way of knowing at the time that drugs would usually enhance her abilities. She began to feel waves of auras and unspoken feelings passing through her like wind through a sheer curtain. It was fascinating. Broken hearts, disingenuous friendships, and suicidal thoughts were all on display in front of her and yet...these things were also invisible. Her ability to pick up on a few dynamics turned into an all-encompassing awareness of what was around her. Sona had similar gifts and Evan noticed that she was often closest to people who had similar experiences because they understood...and made efforts not to be spillers or, god forbid, takers. She and Sona decided it'd be best to leave and went to find Beth. Beth was, even sober, a ball of severed nerves. But it was clear that the marijuana was having its own detrimental effect on her and Sona and Evan encouraged her to leave with them. Without speaking a word, Beth was communicating a sense of frantic urgency...that she was not ok. Evan began to walk along side Beth and, perhaps being moved by some universally bestowed intuition, started to match Beth's panicked breathing. This made Evan enter into the anxious state with Beth. And now that she was in Beth's state, she could now begin to slowly unwind it from the inside. Evan turned the fast breathing into moderate breathing and, eventually, slow and intentional breathing. She also began to match Beth's steps and started speaking aloud "one, two--one, two..." for each step. It was as if she was absorbing Beth's anxiety and filtering and channeling it into peaceful energy. Sona walked silently in the background, with a muted but solidly aware presence. By the time they reached their destination, Beth was breathing normally and the anxiety was leaving her. Sona and Evan waited with her as she called a ride share and eventually left to go home. After Beth departed, Sona and Evan looked at each other with an acute understanding of what had just happened. Beth was wordlessly spilling, and perhaps due to the mystical effects of the marijuana, Evan was able to handle it. This was hopeful for Evan because it meant that there was a way to use this gift without it ruining her. She'd go on to dedicate a part of her life's purpose to figuring out how to master it.