6.

Why do I feel as if it will never be mine time? Not my turn or my chance.

It hurts when you realize others don’t see what they say is true about you.

Am I going to ever be good enough?

Will I ever make sense of the melting mess inside my head?

Will I ever be able to say, this is me and this is what I am good at.

What if I am just not good at anything.

To aspire to be good was never enough.

I have these expectations and I used to juggle them very well. As I have aged, I have lost my coordination and now days, I am barley able to throw my feet off the side of the bed.

To drown would be a sweeter pain that existence.

To sound bleak leaves, us wondering if the next step is worth is.

I am unable to give you the answer you are looking for as I am even unable to give one to myself.

How is it this can still hit so hard and cut almost as deep as if it had been done by my own hand.

I find myself lost in a strange place. I seem to be losing me.

It could just be the cycle, finally returning and coming back full force.

Must the good come with a trail of destruction in its happy wake.

May I finally claw to the top and be left alone. I have never wanted more than to have a life that is all my own. It is exceptionally difficult to have, when you know nothing that awaits, is better than the everything that currently surrounds.