I.G.J Diaries - Chapter Two Low life

I grew up not exactly like the kids around me but, to be honest, some parts i wouldn't change but, some parts i sometimes want to erase, at least from my memory.

Let me set the picture for you.

Big city. And i lived in the center of it.

The house i grew up in, or better said, the mansion was the property of the State. It was big, old and somehow it always gave off a strange feeling.

This property was separated per families, each family living in some part of the house. To be honest i never understood how someone managed to transform that mansion into several....apartments, yeah, lets call them that. There were a total of 9 apartments. The families living in them had to pay a monthly rent to the City Hall, rent that was, as i found out later on in my life, was actually lower than any other type of rent in the whole city. Why is the price important you may ask? Well, it will make a lot of sense later on, so keep this detail in mind.

To get a better understanding, picture this: you take a right from the main street. On your right side, you pass fancy boutiques, a small convenience store and some apartment buildings. On the left, you pass a hotel and some old houses.

You stop.

In front of you, the street continues. Looking to your left, you see a 20 stories high building, that seems new and abandoned at the same time, which is next to a Catholic church and of course another road. Looking the opposite way, there are two mansions that look like they are on the verge of collapsing, one worst than the other. You instinctively pick number two and slowly make your way through the old, rusty gates. The concrete fence, with parts falling off of it and graffiti scattered all over, feels like its separating that yard from the rest of the world.

Now, you're in front of the massive building, some of its parts falling apart in the corners, it looks like nobody is living there. You see two doors, one of them is big and tall, decorated with spirals at the edges, fully opened. The other one is smaller and. There is actually no door, its just a doorway and behind it its another door, covered by big planks of wood. You decide and go through the doorway of the second one. You find yourself in the middle of a hallway spreading from you right to your left. The right side its cut off by a modern style door. The left side has an old door, half closed with broken windows and a curtain, clogged with dust. Looking through that door, the hallway seems to go nowhere. Its just too dark to see, but you slowly pace ahead, with your hands stretched in front of you. Suddenly you hit another door and you push it open, taking a step forward. A light shines brightly out of nowhere. You look around yourself, you are now in a massive oval hallway. There are three doors and in between them there are wood planks scattered and leaned on the walls.

While curiosity and surprise lifts off of your mind, screams and loud noises can be heard from behind one of the doors. You get closer to it and right when you get in front of it, the door slams open and a short woman rushes outside, walking out through the hallway you just came in.

Another rush of curiosity pushes you to look through the now open door. you see rugs all over the floor. An old stove and a washing machine, behind it, massive windows covered with pieces of material, give of some light. The sound of women shouting comes from inside, then a shouting manly voice shakes up your whole body, then...silence. Taking the opportunity, you get through the doorway and enter the room. Its big, three meters high and the dimension of a basketball court. At a table, in the middle of the room, you see the boy whose voice you heard just a few seconds ago. He's chewing angrily on some food. A couch is placed right across the table, you take a sit on it, a woman starts shouting again, while another one grumbles something unrecognisable. You get startled by the sound of a punch hitting a wooden surface. the boy shouts again. You stand up and rush to the other room. Surprised, you stop at the sight of an old lady, sitting to your right, on a bed and holding a walking stick in between her hands. She looks tired, her brown eyes staring into nothing. At the back of the room is another bed. A woman paces the length of the bed, shouting curses and crying. Getting closer to her, it becomes clear that there is someone in the bed. A small figure lays under the covers.

Confused, you take a sit on the bed. A second after, the covers move, revealing a small girl's body. Headphones in her ears. Her eyes puffy, clearly from crying. She looks at the two women, seeing that they are now arguing again, she shakes her shoulders. She takes one last glance at the whole room, stoping on you for a second.

Green eyes covered in tears seem to look for something but, before you have a chance to react, she goes under the covers again.

With this, you quickly rush to the exit, passing those people, then onto the hallway, then outside. It seems easier to leave than it was to come. The air hits your face as you walk towards the front gates.

The atmosphere of that house lingers in the back of your head. Now you understand what lies beneath the covers of my mind.

Unspoken, dammed and traumatizing imagines of fights, easily thrown curses and hatred, were main ingredients in the way i grew up. No much for the gestures of affection or kind words. Did it define me? No. I cannot say that it not have an important influence on the way i grew up and the way i am today, but i did not let my mind to soak up all of that.