I’m awake again. Day 6

Is today a good day to die?

This is something I ask myselfin the morning when I wake up. In third period when I'm trying to keep my eyes open while Mr. Schroeder drones on and on. At the supper table as I'm passing the grean beans. At night when I'm lying awake because my brain won't shut off due to all there is to think about.

Is today the day?

And if not today-when?

I am asking myself this now as I am standing on a narrow ledge six stories above the ground. I'm so high up, I'm practically part of the sky. I look down at the pavement below, and the world tilts. I close my eyes, enjoying the way everything spins. Maybe this time I'll do it-let the air carry me away. It will be like floating in a pool, drifting off until there's nothing.

Intro to All Thee Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

This is by far my favorite introduction. It is also my favorite book of all time. Depression is something running in people's heads all of the time, no matter where you are. This book takes you through this child/young adult's mind day by day. No matter where he is, nor what he is doing or with, the thought of suicide lingers.