My colors.

I sat for so long just staring at this blank screen

Looking for the perfect spot to start my voicing

I racked my brain and thought of all the times

That my heart wanted to be weak

While I was forcing by myself to be strong

I used to stand tall and proud

Of everything I was

Until I started to focus on what I wasn’t

Each time I got more bumps and bruises

I used the medication of silence

The girl who once stood tall and beautiful

She became two inches shorter

With each negative thought

She made herself slump to the heights of her own expectations

Because she was afraid of all of the excuses

She was afraid of being everything she was

Her stars shone in beautiful colors of red and blue and purple and green

That were hidden for only her deepest fears to reveal

Her colors were changed to black and blue

She killed herself with her own words

Because she was blinded by her own opinion of what a girl should be

One day she walked alone in the dark

Waiting for something to change for the better

It began to rain and she began to cry

Her tears mixed in with the simplicity of the earth

She fell to her knees and prayed for someone to come and save her

She prayed for a shoulder to cry on

For once

For once she wanted to rely on something other than the silence

And with that she gave up

She kissed her own hand and dried her eyes with clumps of her own hair

She didn’t want to be her own alli anymore

She didn’t want to be anything