Not quite a poem

I think

I should’ve done something more by now.

The neurosis

creeps in

and if I had a super power

it would be the ability

to not sleep.

You see,

I know who I am

but not who I want to be

and I’m running out of time.

As the hours stretch on,

the room begins to spin.

I wish I could say

I watched the sunrise.

But I always seem to forget

to look at the sky.

I stopped self-medicating.

Long lost emotions flood in.

Now I’m in the shower,

hyperventilating.

I wonder how much longer

I can ignore this hunger

when everything else takes over.

My regrets surface

like bones in a graveyard

and there’s nothing I can do

but bury myself in them.

I decide the solution

is to be better than them.

So with my determined smirk

I get to work.

But my words become saturated

as my brain shrinks and expands

I feel as if I’m walking through water

and I wonder when this dream will end

of if I even want it to.

-Jo Resner 12/3/18

-Jo Resner