Fear

Fear is a funny thing. Most times, the fear has no real basis behind it. A simple thought that crosses the mind can create a senseless fear. My fears are many. Too many that sometimes they begin to feel like a joke being played on me. Senseless fears that circle around my life and build on top of one another like a shield. Fear is the way that our body warns us to find safety when we face danger, but fears aren’t always related to dangerous things. Fear stops me from facing my wildest dreams. Fear prevents me from dancing in the rain and singing all the wrong notes at the top of my lungs. It’s the sole thing standing between me and my dream of writing. Fear stops me from doing things that could expose me to the judgement of others— even if it’s a positive exposure. This kind of fear is the worst to exist and the most difficult to defeat. Facing darkness I can at least have the hope of finding light yet with failure, comes deep self-disappointed. Rational? I wouldn’t say so. But here I am, immersed in my fear. It wraps around me like a weighted blanket has been glued to my skin. Facing fear feels like blindly jumping into a dark, bottomless well. I don’t know what waits beneath the darkness, but I can only hope that it’s the light leading to the right path.

ER