How I Made You

I used to run away from boys

Whose hands were faster than their mouths

Whose eyes broke me down and put me back together again

“You’re allergic to them,” she said

So I kept running.

Until 9th grade.

My sprint slowed to a jog

Then a walk.

I was stuck.

“Who is that?”

He asked the same about me.

We kissed on the side of the building

I couldn’t feel my legs giving out

Until you caught me.

You walked me home and told me you wish you didn't have to go back to yours.

So you climbed through my window.

We were reckless

And inexperienced.

It could have easily happened that night.

I started running again.

But this time it was from you.

Something wasn’t right.

15 years later you’ve loved others

And so have I.

We kissed again

On the side of your car

And I felt destruction coming.

It began that night.

She is 2. Half of me and of you.

I had to realize why I ran away the first time.

I can’t now. She anchors me to you and I fuckin hate it.