I’m happy.

Contrary to what you may see in my journals, I’m doing well. Anorexia and bulimia are not the most important parts of my life anymore. My dad passing was hard and will always hurt. I do have a terminal Illness I hide. I’ve been through hell and back in physical and mental pain For children I’ll never meet. I have been hurt by people I was supposed to trust. Easy to say I’ve been through a lot, we all have.

More importantly.. I laugh louder now, smile harder now. I’m eating normally, I take my medications, I talk to my family more, I am reading my favorite books again, and I am writing more often than I ever have.

That’s when you wonder, how do you go from being so broken to okay? You may not be fine. In fact, you’re certainly not fine. You’re doing okay, though. The question is “how?” We all want to know.

All you can think about are the things that have gone wrong over the past four years. All of the anger, pain, and torment. Have you ever thought maybe that’s it? You’re stronger now, you’re wiser, and you know what you want. You know who you are, or you know who you want to be.

Maybe we need pain, to shape us into our strongest selves.

I write from past experiences, heartbreaks, lessons, and friends. I write about my present life, and what I hope my future life holds.

I’m doing well, and I thank every person for wishing me well. Even though you think you don’t know me personally, you know me better than anyone else. Because you, prose, are my diary. I have an amazing support system here with me, and I get to add you all to my family. I love you already. Here’s to growth and our future selves.

Hugs Xx.