Baby Jane
I’ve spent many years in a dark, seemingly bottomless pit I never thought I’d be able to crawl out of. I deemed myself unworthy of happiness. But now as I’m in this bed, in extreme pain, my screaming is cut off when I hear a loud, piercing cry, and it’s music to my ears. A bundle of joy. A page has been flipped and a new chapter is here.
She’s in my arms, tiny and wrinkled but the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I named her Jane, after my favorite author, Jane Austen. I’ll teach her to love her namesake when she’s old enough to understand. I hand her to her father, who will teach her how to play guitar, and show her the kind of man she deserves. Exhaustion begins to overtake me and I’m asleep before I even know it. I have nothing but the sweetest dreams of Jane and think about how incredible it’s going to be to watch her grow up, to raise a little girl into a young woman. But I’m in no rush. She can take her time, and I will cherish every second of it.
Now I’ve changed. I’m a phoenix that rose from the ashes of the old me, lost in the dark pit. I’ve shed it all so I could fly higher and be better than I was. For my daughter, my sweet baby Jane.
©Heather Ann