Chapter 3

I sat on my bed, letter in hand. I read it once more and rubbed my eyes. My head hurt from looking at the pages for so long. The blank ink on the silken white pages was giving me a migraine. I forced myself to reread the letter again, trying to push every feeling of the pain to the back of my head. It just made it worse.

I heard a knock at the door, startled. The last time someone had knocked on my door, it had completely turned my world upside down and I still don’t know if it was in a good way. I heard the door beep, allowing access and Cassandra stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“Here, I brought you stuff,” she said, nodding at the suitcase in her hand

“Thanks,” I said, looking back down at the letter. Even though my brain did hurt, it was like it was telling me to push on through the pain.

“What’s wrong,” Cassandra asked, leaving my suitcase by the door and walking over to me.

“Nothing,” I said, waving it off. I stood up, dropping the letter on the bed. “Just a little tired.”

“I know what tired looks like, and that is not it,” she said. She reached past me and snagged the letter off my bed.

“Hey,” I protested, taking it back. “That’s mine. You have no right to read it.”

“Actually, I do. As your personal bodyguard, I have every right to know everything about you. It aids me in your protection,” she countered.

I glared at her before handing the letter back over. She quickly read it and then looked up at me.

“What’s bothering you? There’s nothing in this letter that makes me feel weird,” she said.

“I didn’t say the letter made me feel weird.”

“You didn’t say anything about the letter. It’s my job to pick out the fishy things in life,” she explained.

“Then you’re not doing a good job of it,” i snapped. I took the letter back and pointed out the first line. She read it again and then looked up at me, confusion written across her face.

“I get it now,” she said, realization kicking in. “President Riding never did anything just in case. He always left that up to the security team.”

“Exactly,” I agreed. “That’s what’s bothering me. It’s like he almost knew he was gonna die.”

“Maybe he did,” Cassandra shrugged. “Or maybe he just got that itchy feeling on the back of his neck and thought, ‘Oh, I’m a gonna die’.”

“You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you,” I crossed my arms over my chest and rocked back on my heels. “You’re supposed to be a bodyguard. Stay silent by the door and let me mentally torture myself.”

“You asked,” she defended.

“Did not!” I yelled.

“It doesn’t matter. It defines who I am,” she joked, a smile playing on her lips.

I glared at her.

“If looks could kill, I’d be six feet under,” she muttered as she turned and returned to her spot by the door.

“What I don’t understand is why I can’t remember anything,” I continued to think out loud.

“You told me to be silent,” she reminded me from her post.

I ignored her and continued.

“I seem to have conflicting memories about him. Every time he came to see me at school it seemed that he was always too busy to be bothered and never wanted to stay. He never even brought up bringing me home. Not even once,” I stopped. “But that’s not the point. The point is that I can’t pull distinct memories to mind. It’s all a hazy blur. A mix of two President Ridings and I can’t figure out which one is really my dad.”

“Sounds complicated,” she said from across the room. I continued to ignore her.

“I remember him being a happy man but then every time I’ve seen him since I left, he was always so—distant, ya know?” I ran a hand through my hair.

“No, actually, I don’t know, but in the letter, he said he missed you. I think and this is just me, that when a man loses everyone he loves in a few short months, it changes him,” Cassandra told me. “Maybe you like to remember the man he was before tragedy struck because that’s the child part of you. That part of you wants to cling onto your family. Or at least what’s left of it.”

“I hate the man—hated,” I said. I rubbed the back of my neck. “I overheard conversations he had with Aunt Nellie about things he had to pull over to keep his throne a little longer. I witnessed several of his plans in action.”

“I thought—you know what? Don’t listen to anything I tell you because it is all wrong when it comes to you, Red Riding. You have a twisted mind,” she said, her eyebrows raised. Something told me she wasn’t joking.

“Sheesh! Thanks!” I threw my hands up in the air. “Thought you were supposed to be helpful.”

She shrugged. “I’ll be outside the door if you need anything.”

I nodded and dropped back onto my bed, letter held up so I could read it again. How many times had I read this thing? I didn’t want to know. I rolled over onto my side and stared at the suitcase Cassandra left by the door.

Standing up, I walked over to it and hoisted it up onto my bed. I unzipped it and started to unpack. I didn’t have a lot of clothes, just a few school uniforms, undergarments, and a giant t-shirt I wore to bed. I slammed the dresser drawer and shut my suitcase. I slid it under my giant bed and collapsed onto the floor.

My head was spinning. None of this made any sense. I wanted to be back at Aunt Nellie’s school, slaving away at my homework, not sitting here waiting for—I didn’t know what. My stomach rumbled and I pulled my phone out of my bag to look at the time. It was well past my dinner time and I was getting hungry.

How long had I been reading that letter for? I thought before pushing the idea out of my head. I didn’t want to think about the letter anymore. I just wanted the whole ordeal to be over. I put my phone away and slipped my bag over my shoulder.

“Where’s the kitchen?” I asked Cassandra, stepping outside my room.

“I’ll show you,” she said.

“You have to go with me anyway,” I reminded her.

“True,” she nodded. She walked down the hall to the elevator, and I followed her.

“You’re supposed to be eating with a few of the staff so they can get to know you,” she told me.

I bit my lip before I spoke. “I don’t want to eat with them.”

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I quickly said. I could feel a headache coming on. This was strange. Normally I did my best under stress, but I guess that wasn’t going to be the deal.

“I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I just want to eat and go to bed.”

She nodded. “I’ll tell ’em you weren’t feeling good.”

“Thanks,” I answered.

She smiled a small smile and pushed open the swinging doors to the kitchen and I followed her in. A handful of plates sat on a cart by the door and I snagged a plate. Cassandra stood by the door, arms folded in front of her as I began to eat.

A server came and pushed the cart out through the double doors to the dining area and Cassandra followed it.

I heard her say something followed by a few ‘okays’ and mumbles of agreement. She came back in a few seconds later and returned to her post quietly.

I cut the chicken on my plate and quickly ate it. It was probably the best chicken I’ve ever had but that’s not saying a lot because I never got to eat chicken. It was always something simpler at Aunt Nellie’s school. Spaghetti and potato soup were a usual.

The green beans were good. I could taste the garlic and onion, adding a bit of a flare to the beans. I cleaned every last one of my plate before moving onto the scalloped potatoes and hesitantly tasted it.

“Never had those before?”

I looked up, a little surprised. Audie stood beside me, empty plate in his hand.

“Yeah, I’ve never had them,” I answered.

“They’re good,” he nodded. His eyes narrowed at me and his voice took on a joking sound. “I thought you weren’t feeling well.”

“I’m not,” I answered. For a few moments I had forgotten about the pounding at the back of my brain and now at the mention of it, it came back. “I’ve got a terrible headache.”

“Sorry to hear that,” he said, looking at me compassionate eyes.

I took another bite of the potatoes and he went on his way. He came back a few seconds later, two plates of cake in his hand. He sat one down in front of me and settled into the seat next to me.

I wanted to tell him I wanted to be alone right now, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

What’s gotten into you Red? You’re worried about someone’s feelings! Just a few days ago you would have flat out told him you wanted to be alone.

I finished my potatoes, keeping the thoughts inside my head. When I had finished what was on my plate, I pushed it aside and set to work on the cake.

It was okay. Cake is cake and I know that some of you are going to debate that and maybe it would have tasted better if I didn’t feel like I was about to throw up. I finished my cake and stood up.

“It was nice seeing you,” I said to him before swinging my bag over my shoulder. “See ya around.”

He nodded. “You too.”

I motioned for Cassandra to walk next to me and she did. As we waited for the elevator to arrive, she looked at me.

“He’s cute,” she said suddenly.

“Who?” I asked, confused.

“Audi,” she clarified. “He’s sweet and has a big heart. Plus the good looks.”

I laughed even though it made my head hurt more. I got an idea and decided to test it.

“And then there’s Wade who is like a solid ten.”

I watched her out of the corner of my eye. Her face remained the same.

That didn’t work.

“Yeah, he is cute,” she said. The edges of her smile turned farther up. Inwardly, I pumped my fist in the air. I’d found a match.

“What do you think about him?” I pressed. And then to not be suspicious, I added.

“You’ve known him for a long time so maybe you could tell me a few things?”

She eyed me. I must have done a terrible job covering up. “Maybe.”

I went to press for more, but I heard someone call our names just as the elevator doors opened.

I looked over to see Wade jogging over to us.

"Speaking of the devil," I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

We stepped inside the elevator, but Cassandra put her hand against the door to keep it from shutting.

“What?” I asked as he came to a stop before us.

“Just came to tell you that your dad’s funeral is going to be the day after tomorrow,” he said.

“That’s kind of soon,” I pointed out. “When he was shot and the doctors said he wouldn’t make the weekend, we—the cabinet decided on a date which is the day after tomorrow,” he explained.

I nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

Cassandra took her hand away and the door slid shut.

“Oh, wait,” Wade pushed it back. “I heard you weren’t feeling good. Are you okay?”

I looked at him and then over at Cassandra. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just tired.”

“Okay,” he stepped back. “Goodnight Cassie, Red.”

“Goodnight,” I echoed.

Cassandra nodded at him as the doors slid shut.

“He likes you,” I said. I held my hands behind my back as I rocked back and forth on my heels.

“No, we’re friends,” she corrected. “And I thought you liked him.”

“You thought wrong,” I said, smiling.

“You literally said,” I cut her off.

“There’s a difference between liking someone and thinking they’re cute,” I pointed out.

She shrugged as the doors opened. We walked down the hall in silence.

“See ya in the morning,” she said when we arrived at my door.

“Okay, goodnight,” I said, slipping inside.

I shut the door firmly behind me and turned to my room. The first thing I saw was the letter still on the bed, face up. It still bothered me, so I folded it up and tucked it into the drawer in my nightstand. I walked to the bureau and sat my bag on the chair. I unbuttoned my white shirt and gently folded it. I unzipped my skirt and folded it also before placing both articles of clothing into the dresser drawer. I pulled out the large t-shirt which came down to my knees.

I combed through my hair a few times before pulling the covers back on the ginormous bed. I snuggled under them, the feeling of a new bed strange on my skin. It smelled like a summer day and it bugged me. In London, it was never a breezy summer day. It was always cold and rainy. I looked out the window.

“I miss the rain,” I whispered to myself. I tucked the sheets under my chin and closed my eyes. There was going to be a lot more to miss.