Dear @voiceinthewind

I am so very sorry to hear about your awful experiences. As a follower I pay attention to your works very closely and noticed that there is in fact a prominent theme in your recent posts. If you don’t mind I really would like to give my opinion. I was going to post this as a comment in your post “Showing Emotion” but it became so long I decided to write you a letter. Please, I don’t want you to think that I mean any ill will or have any bad intentions. I’m just a friend on the other side of the screen that would like to tell you how your writing made me feel on the topic in general. Something you can’t always do when reading something from a writer you take inspiration from. I’m glad Prose lets me have that ability the way it lets you express the things you feel like writing. That being said, this is just my personal take on things. I am not expecting you to agree or to like it. If at any point you feel like you disagree with the things I said or felt like I crossed a line I very very much want you to tell me. The last thing I would ever do is hurt you or make you feel less than what you are as a writer or as a person.

Here goes.

I am so proud to see you talk about something that isn’t easy to talk about. Men’s rights are usually seen as oppressive and tactless. I completely disagree. I think it’s something valid to talk about and am glad you did and hope you continue doing so.

I am a strong advocate of human rights myself. I feel like all people are in their rights to defend their rights. However, the minute one person hurts another because they believe that their rights are above others is not ok. Women have made large strives in history to receive the rights that we deserve (such as vote). Today we are still fighting for some rights ( such as wage gap), something I believe is necessary. Nevertheless, there are some women who believe they are superior to men for whatever reason. They think “oh because men oppressed us, it is now our turn to oppress them”. I strongly disagree with this type of thinking because it honestly gets us nowhere as a society. None of us has the right to hurt others especially when the goal is to make our rights known. Pursuing ones right by taking away someone else’s right is just not the way to go. Something tells me this is something we agree on.

I absolutely adored The Red Pill movie on the men’s rights movement. It was an interesting insight and the debate was magical. I was distressed to find out that the feminist community shunned Cassie Jaye for presenting ALL sides of the story the way a genuine documentary should. It only proves that some women that would identify as feminists would in fact take the rights of men to show superiority is, in my opinion, senseless. I know ex-feminists whose goals are to create a society with equal rights but left the feminist movement because the goals of some women who identify themselves as feminists are to make themselves superior to men. Again, I don’t think this is the way to go. Doing something awful that was done to you won’t solve anything. Yes, its true men have a large history of oppression, I know that. But my father never made me feel like I don’t have rights. My brother never once acted superior because he was a Man. My childhood friends who are Men never once treated me like I was a lesser human being. My boyfriend of three years never once laid a hand on me. Oh, but because there is a Man on the other block who rapes women I should hate all Men. It just doesn’t make sense. At least not to me. I know that not all men are evil. Many men do evil things just like many women do evil things but that doesn’t mean we should cast the blame on ALL men or ALL women. Maybe I was lucky to have such good men in my life just as I was unlucky to meet such awful men in my life. I understand that there are very particular situations in which women only have bad experiences with men in which I usually implore them to see reason. What one man does, doesn’t dictate what another would do. It’s just not how people work. Blaming ALL men for the history of bad things men did or do is so arrogant. I find that in this world there are women who don’t understand that men who believe that women are their equals exist. There are men who believe that oppression is wrong. There are men who believe rape is wrong. There are men who fight for themselves because being oppressed is wrong.

In your post “Showing Emotion” you wrote about how women want men to show their emotions. You said you were exempt because you always showed emotion, something that resulted in people disrespecting you or not taking you seriously. I honestly think you should surround yourself in a more positive environment. If people are constantly disrespecting you because of the feelings you may or may not have towards a specific thing isn’t healthy for you. I think you make a good point in saying that women, or people general, need to create a safe space for a man to feel safe. I found interesting the psychological aspect you put in women and their wants towards men. I personally thought it was valid. However I honestly don’t really see why a man’s emotion should put off a woman if it’s what they feel. You can disagree without disrespecting. People can have different opinions. If a woman is put off by your emotions, move on. I don’t think a man should stop showing emotions because it’s in their interest “to have sex”. If a woman is put off by the real things you have to say then maybe she isn’t a woman you should be having sex with. I also don’t think you should have related emotion with sex in the way that you did because it reinforces the idea of women thinking “Only men want sex. They don’t feel anything. They think only about sex. Sex is their only emotion”. In your second to last paragraph You implied ever so slightly that men only relate emotion or lack of emotion with pursuing sex, which I know isn’t true. I feel like you should have expanded a little more on men’s emotions, not just towards women but in general. That’s just my take on things.

I know you included in one paragraph that you showed emotion to a fellow female prose writer after disagreeing with her advice for young men and she was put off. Like I said, not everyone will agree or disagree with the feelings and emotions others have. I really do think tolerance is key, especially in a place where writers are free to write about a part of themselves however way they deem fit.

I think that’s about it. I wholeheartedly enjoyed reading your take on it all. And again, I hope you don’t take anything I say as offensive or as a personal attack. You definitely inspired me to write and expand on this topic. Keep up the insights. Watch out for my piece on your challenge “How do you see the opposite sex” and I really do hope you get back to me however you want.

Your friend and follower,

Torrence Thomas Thrashford