The Forest and Her Uncertainties

I was born in a place of obscurity. My eyes first opened on a dirt trail hardened by the past. Like waking from a dream, I thought, Was I not just somewhere else? Someone else? Yet, as from any other dream, I had little choice but to move on…

All around was a world I didn’t know. Humble trees of hazel wood and shamrock stretched for as far as my untested eyes could see, soft as the underbrush that pillowed the ground. This part of the forest looked well cared for, tended to in places as if preparing for my arrival. No, not my arrival, I realized. In the dirt before me was a trail of bare footprints, leading down the road and around the bend in the distance.

It did not take me long to stand, weak as my legs were. No, not weak… new… unseasoned. I fell in line with the ruts in the road naturally. Lines were good. Lines had purpose. I was perhaps too hard-headed to walk with the trail of footprints, intent on carving my own way.

With my first step came a shock. My legs surrendered to my weight, and I was a lump of body on the ground again. I had tried to run.

What’s this? I thought. I knew running, didn’t I? How is it that I’ve forgotten?

I wished then that I could’ve taken my legs with me from the other place. Those had been strong legs… Wait, I thought, that wasn’t right. Waking was all I knew. The other place was nothing but a dream.

I stood just as easily as the first time, yet aware of a new weight that settled with the knowledge of my inept legs. To spite the shadow of that knowledge, however, I was determined. I was a runner, I was a fighter—of that much I was sure. I steeled my feet, challenging the short stretch of road before me. This is what I am, I thought, and tried again, reaching for the bend.

The cruelty within the earth beckoned me, and I fell into the dirt.

Again, I stood. I would not relent. Again I fell, ears burning with the laughter of this unfamiliar world. It asked much of me, but it would not let me give. Around the bend the world called out, but I was helpless as the forest held me fast.

“RUN!” I cried, prostrate in the dirt. To what end was I reduced to this?! Is it not mockery to forsake me and leave me with this impaired frame?!

I glared in envy at the trail of footprints in the road. Those had been made mere moments ago, I knew. I’d watched him walk around the bend…

No… just a dream.

I could do nothing but lie there, incapable, unable to fathom my sudden subjection to such cruelty. My will collapsed as I stared up through the encroaching branches, watching the sunlight playing through the leaves. The forest swallowed me as it laughed at its own beauty, wrapping me up in black obscurity with every breath. So I was quieted, and I embraced it. I embraced obscurity.

Into this bright place was I born; and on that same day I surrendered myself to the weight of the forest…