A Day in the Life of Guy

A Day in the Life of Guy

Guy Fieri wakes to an alarm clock blaring.

The midday sun streams in through the tattered blinds.

Dust dances in the stale air.

He pulls on an old flame covered shirt.

Is that blood?

It's marinara.

Thank Christ.

Guy stumbles to the bathroom, and grimaces at himself in the mirror.

His leathery visage stares back at him. Dried, bloody parmesan cheese is coming out of a nostril.

Fuck, what happened last night?

Guy walks, eyes half open, to the refrigerator. A lone chunk of cheese is the only thing in it.

He sighs as he takes it and puts the hunk of cheese onto a spoon.

He begins the ritual of tying the belt around his arm and watches the flame dance under the dirty spoon.

He draws up a syringe and mechanically slides the needle into his vein.

He catches a reflection of himself in the toaster. His hair wild and goatee unkempt.

"Welcome to flavor country" he mutters before depressing the plunger.

He slumps to the floor as the cheese rushes into his system.

He is, for a few moments, in blissful cheesy ecstasy.

It's time for Guy Fieri to begin his day.