Mask of Lies
**POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING**
I smile at you
Heart aching, mind still
I want to know you
But my fear I can't kill.
I'm dying inside
They're laughing and talking
So smooth! I tried
But alone I'm still walking.
Only you saw my mask
Past to me behind
You took it as your task
The real me to find.
We tore down me walls
Slow progress, brick by brick
You caught my many falls
Who better could I pick?
Rebel dear, have no fear
We'll kill your fear when I am near.
Rebel dear, have no fear
I will wipe your every tear.
Angel bright, you're my light
With you I know I'll win the fight.
Angel bright, you're my light
Hold me close and hug me tight.
Rebel dawn, don't be gone
We'll carry on, we'll carry on.
Rebel dawn, don't be gone
Never again walk alone.
Your still form
(this is not happening)
Your blood staining pavement
(I can't breathe, the lights are blinding)
(It's all my fault)
(I was never good enough)
(Life is so precious)
(Please don't take it away)
So young, hadn't even graduated
(I fall to join you on the ground)
No career, no wife, no family
(Afraid to touch you for fear of hurting you)
No joyous years to come
(I can't resist. I brush the long black hair from your eyes)
No weathering the darkest storms
(I hear a scream. It can't be me)
No fulfilling dreams at college
(Shameless tears fall. I press your cold hand to my lips)
No giving me your last name
(I whisper. Jin, please. Please don't leave me)
No dancing the night away
(Deep down, I know the truth. The doctor confirms it)
No cuddling and watching anime
(I kiss your forehead and breathe you in one last time)
No cheering me on at competitions
(The flames rise, replacing your shell.)
No letting me assure you of your worth
(Haka. Not life. Haka. Not home. Haka. Not us)
I stand at the edge of the bridge that took your life
A thousand emotions in my head and heart
The people swarm past me
I am unnoticed
No one would care if I jumped
But I can't betray the memory
I am trapped
Between guilt and longing
I'm being torn apart
Inside
Is there truly hope out the window?
I don't know
And you will never know
What truly lies behind
My mask of lies.