PARTICLE / ANTIPARTICLE

i want to say that i think “shooting stars” when i think of us. a dream come true, heat & something cataclysmic – a supernova, like, when you touched my bare skin & i kissed you for the first time & the walls came down & the world around us exploded. lesson number one: a supernova is the death of a massive star, by which i mean to say, i had a little light left in me & you blew it into the outer edges of the universe – or perhaps you were the light, always moving too quick for me to keep up (300, 000 m/s to be approximate). according to special relativity, conventional matter can only travel so fast, but you’re / unconventional. weird. magnetic, how, einstein’s “spooky action at a distance” (lesson number two) refers to quantum entanglement, by which i mean to say, i’m all caught up in you. we flip back & forth between your hand between my legs & my legs around your waist, this, superposition of states until we collapse into one. waves cascading over the sheets, showers of photons when our fingertips touch. i want to say that in this moment you’re here with me, but heisenberg’s uncertainty principle means i can never quite tell whether you’re here or there or somewhere in between. so lesson number three: there’s always going to be distance between us, by which i mean to say, hubble’s law talks about the expansion of the universe & you are a spectrum of light through a prism, refracted / you fracture me. white rays should split into the rainbow, but we run through glass & all i can see is red. the doppler effect. we’re stretched into infrared heat & want & radiation & this is how they detect celestial bodies; we found stars so bright they turned out to be galactic nuclei over a million miles away / i could feel the galaxy that you are from a million miles away. galaxies are said to contain supermassive black holes. you, make me feel like a black hole & sometimes you consume me with your sun-lips, your stardust hair, your alien-green eyes – lesson number four: a black hole marks the event horizon where gravity is so strong it devours everything in sight, by which i mean to say, all the light has escaped from me. entropy is a degree of disorder, reminiscent of my spaced-out head-space; the second law of thermodynamics states “the total entropy of an isolated system can never decrease over time” so put two of us in a room together & the mess becomes catastrophic. we can’t observe the entropy of black holes, but watch them spinning like my head when you grab my hips, & the particles that go flying are the next best thing, which leads me to lesson number five: every particle has an equal & opposite antiparticle. sometimes, particle meets antiparticle & the two annihilate each other, & sometimes, boy meets girl & the particles are just a way of saying: dear t, you annihilate me. [footnote: multiverse theory suggests that every black hole or every quantum observation leads to a parallel universe, so here’s one: another life, where we meet again & pick up where we left off. in this world, we don’t end things before they’ve begun.]