The One: Romantic Bull Fritters

The romantic notion that there is , “The One” for everyone in search for love is probably the most selfish delusion there is. It promotes the falacy that I am so special that the universe must stop everything it has to do in order to create another human being that somehow meets my various emotional, psychological, and sexual needs.

Is there any wonder why divorce rates are so high? The notion of, "The One" has conditioned us to believe that there is a celestially constructed match for us who will allow us to live in bliss. If my partner or spouse for whatever reason suddenly doesn’t conform to my narcisistically conceived notion of "The One," then I should simply give up on them. If there is friction with my partner, if they crave emotional recipricity, if their view of the world doesn't conform to mine, then they simply aren't, "The One." With this arrogant thought in mind, I can quit my current relationship and resume my search for the custom-made person who will meet my every vapid need.

The notion of, "The One" allows us to believe that no matter what our flaws may be, there is someone out there who will love us because that is what they are designed to do. Bull shit! After thirteen years of marriage I can honestly say that my wife isn't, "The One" for me. I can also say that I am not, "The One" for her. Instead, we see the goodness in each other and choose to work towards making ourselves worthy of that goodness. Ultimately, I don't want to be seen as, "The One." I want to be seen as the man who works to be a better person for the woman who sees the good beneath the multiple layers of coruption.