On the rock
“Sing for me, Ari” dad asks, as he looks at the white beast that he’s just caught.
What can I say. He is so sentimental in his old age. I need to remember to appreciate these moments. They won’t be there forever..
And after the last fight we had...well.. I need to make up for it.
But before I get a chance, to start singing.., he quizzes me, like when i was very young. “So, Ari. Tell me. We caught a whale. What do we need to do now?”
“Gut him? Clean all the yucky stuff ?” i intentionally use the word “yucky” to play along.
He nods in approval, but says “no no no”.
It was funny when i was 9. I’m sure it was.
“Scales. Clean the scales?” i offer.
“Do you see any scales? It’s a whale we got. Not a fishy”.
It’s just a game. I know the answer and he knows i know the answer. Is everything a mind fuck with parents, or is it just me?
So..
I sing and he cleans the crap.
out of the flesh of the dead abimal, he twists out an old rusty harpoon. The remains of a rope still dangling on the cleat. He tests the point.
“Amatures” he mumbles and chucks it into the foam.
Then another harpoon, then another.
Some netting material, some rigging...
“Ha! Look at that!” He says, picking out something entangled in some ropes.
He cleans it a bit. Smiles triumphantly.
“So Ari. You’re keen on those bozos over land, so What is this, then?” He says. Hands me the thing.
Oh boy. I don’t have a clue. But he will push this on me, every chance he gets. This is some educational thing. Or a little chance at revenge.
Or both.
He reminds me of what happened every chance he gets..
That jerk, Eric. I’m sooo over him.
But Dad will never let me forget...
That jerk , Eric.
That jerk, Eric.
“Gee, I don’t know, Da. I would guess this is a..... A torch!”
“Hemm....nice try Ari, babe, but no. Not even close”.
″ ok, OK... A special tool to hold paint while hanging from the rigging?”
“No...not that..”
“Ok...how about some bracing for one of their cannons?”
“Interesting idea, but still wrong..”
He is hungry to show off..
“Fine..i give up... What is it?”
“Oh...you kids give up too easily..”
“So tell me already...” I say “pleeease”.
″ fine. Look here. These straps go around something. There used to be a clasp, but i guess someone’s bitten it off..but if they bit it off...it means that....” He leads me...
“That there was something there to eat”.
“That’s right...I’ll give you a hint...it’s something you wanted very much once. The guy that had this wanted the same thing too...but he lost...”
“A leg...”
“Yes!...ladies and gentlemen, i give you the amazing Ariel!!!” He says. “Legs. Well. You had them for a while, then you came back under the sea...well...This is...I’m not sure how it’s called, but it’s what happens when humans lose one of their legs. This cup thing fits over the part that’s ...oh...the stump...and they strap it. And they can walk with it...sort of... I should imagine not very well. And they also ...well they can’t swim much either..” He says. “Now...I haven’t seen a wooden leg like this, stuck on a whale before , but this one..this fish is special.. So...maybe the guy minus a leg tried a bit too hard to kill it... ” he says “Amatures...makes me laugh..” He
″ Can you imagine how ridiculous they looked..this guy and his whale...”.
but his chuckle is superficial. He overshot this by a mile.
I don’t know what to say. Whatever i do, it keeps bringing things up...He will never forgive me for betraying him, and he will hold my coming back, the way that i did.. on my knees...well he’ll hold it over me forever..
It’s not fair but...
I don’t miss Eric, anymore. But I can’t help but feel sad for this guy...
I wonder what he was doing?
Why would he just get entangled like this?
What was the point?
I remember going around collecting stuff from sunken ships..
Dad was NOT happy when he found out.. Destroyed the entire thing...
That’s when i really got into trouble..
I guess i also hold many things over him..
Such a tragedy...
Did he have friends?
Did he fight with his parents?
Did they try to stop him from chasing whales across the ocean?
I hope he didn’t suffer..
I imagine the poor guy being dragged uncontrollably behind the animal.
Makes me shudder when i think how afraid he must have been..
Probably drowned a long time before he was eaten, but you never know.
I suddenly feel a tightening. All this sadness, all this ... It’s overwhelming.
I cry for a moment.
I guess i still miss Eric after all...
Dad sees me crying. He knows that like so many times before, he went too far.
“Sorry Ari...” He says.. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. ....this was just...this was only meant...oh...look at me...I’m so ashamed...”
“No, dad. You warned me that this was going to happen, you were only...”
“Yes....only trying to protect you....but you... Eric...I hoped we could put it all in the past...go on a little ‘me and you’ time...and I can’t keep my big mouth shut...it’s not funny...nothing in this is funny. I’m so sorry”
We look at the waves for a while. Crashing on the rocks. Saying more in their rhythm than we could ever say..
“Hey...help me clean
this, and we can cook...” He says and gives me the trident.
We let all the muck float out, food for the seagulls and crabs for about a year.
And then we roast the thing over a nice volcano. Albino porpoises are something special.
Tastes like chicken...
I miss chicken.
I miss dairy products...
I cry a little again as we work. But i don’t let him see it.
Oh, how I miss Eric.....
We go back under the water, i feel a bit guilty that we didn’t bring anything for the others. But this was our thing.