find meaning

I went into the river

I glided my fingers against its surface

I bowed my head and counted to three

waiting for my heartbeats to be heard

against the current

against the rushing water

wanting to silence the fear

and listen to a fading pulse

the world is too loud for those who sink without the fluster

or it can be so quiet that we no longer hear the sounds

without sight and hearing

we lose control

we lose our path

I went into the river

I glided my fingers against its surface

I counted to three

for now, I just stand in the water

and feel the cold current

against my bare skin

waiting, surrounded only by my pulse

slow heartbeats

and the rhythm of life

I listen with my soul

not being able to hear

trying to see with what I touch

without the power to feel with all that there is

regaining the strength

and remembering how it is to swim

and not just to float